Aug 30 2007
Hater or Hated?
First of all Jak, lets get this straight. You hate two things: Punahou kids and Hawaii.
Don’t try to cop out and say you hate Punahou as an institution - because that is not the source of your problems at all. What, did the hala tree call you haole, break into your car and steal your wallet?
Punahou is really just a school that does an above average job of teaching kids. We did not have lessons on how to be arrogant or elitist - we took normal classes like everyone else. And yes, we did have a lot of resources and a big carnival - but guess what, it’s a private school, and as private school tuition goes Punahou is actually very reasonable when compared to other private schools in the US.
Punahou does not have a secret underground network for hiring either. Sure, some individuals may prefer to hire people who went to the same school as them - but that’s not Punahou’s fault - that’s the fault of Punahou kids.
So lets look at Punahou kids.
I understand that Punahou kids may tend to talk a lot about Punahou shit…but that doesn’t mean anything except that they’re boring. I don’t know why you subjected yourself to talking to these people for so long if indeed they were only talking about a school that you have nothing to do with.
For example, TKFKAK always talks about these fucking limited edition t-shirts, and she sends me links and stuff during work and she’s like “this one was sold out, but they did a limited edition reprint making it limited limited edition and the artist has AIDS and a peg leg…blah blah blah.”
And when I can’t drown that out any longer I tell her to change the fucking subject. She does the same thing when I start talking about my shit. It’s so easy…and has nothing to do with what schools we went to and everything to do about your relationship with these people and your willingness to change the conversation.
I mean, you have two choices, 1) be a dick and tell these girls to shut the fuck up about punahou, which would be my preferred route, or 2) find new friends. Option #3, don’t say anything and subject yourself to hours of torture hearing about the fucking malasada booth, then post about it…i mean, now you’re subjecting me to these stories - and I don’t care about the fing carnival or prom budget either.
And yes, I know, there are a lot of punahou kids going to UH law school, and those kids tend to group together. But that’s not unique to Punahou kids - all kids that have a similar background tend to group together.
I think you’re lucky, I mean, if you were taking a Tongan dance class there would be 100 kids from Waianae High grouping together…and believe me, if that was the case you’d be wishing your only problem was hearing about the punahou carnival.
In the job market, I think it may be true that Punahou candidates get a closer look - but that’s true for a lot of schools in a lot of locations. It is not unique to Hawaii or Punahou at all - believe me.
I would say statistically, in Hawaii, Punahou kids would tend to be better candidates at certain jobs just based on their education. And that’s not arrogant or elitist I don’t think…it’s just a statistical reality that when you’re in a tough job market and you’re getting two thousand resumes for every job opening, you have to find ways to be selective…and maybe a Punahou background helps there.
I mean, think about the bay area. You have strong camps of Stanford grads and Berkeley grads…and in that job environment a degree from the dumb rich haole school Santa Clara University (where I went) does not go far at all.
Sure, it’s peculiar that a high school degree goes so far in Hawaii - but Hawaii is a small town, and in small towns those sorts of things happen. And it does suck, and it pisses me off - but hey, that is fucking reality and life…bitching about it gets you absolutely nowhere. Try getting a job in California with a UH Law degree and you’ll see the exact same thing, if not worse because a UH degree in Cali just makes people think you’re a weed smoking slacker.
Now, maybe a little bit of background is in order here. I went to punahou from kindergarten…K through 12, so it’s the only school I have know in my entire life other than college.
Am I happy I went to punahou? Yes. Do I talk about Punahou sometimes? Sure. Do I constantly talk about Punahou shit like the carnival or prom? No. Why? Because that’s boring and frankly Punahou to me is a bit memorable, but looking back it was far more functional than anything. It’s a means to an end…and the booth I worked in at the carnival, corn on the cob, was totally gay.
Punahou does an excellent job of preparing kids for college. It is, after all, a prep school. And I would venture to say most schools in Hawaii don’t do a great job of preparing kids for college. With that in mind, you can see how a Punahou kid that goes to college and maybe graduate school may be more successful in white collar jobs in Hawaii.
Are Punahou kids arrogant and snobby? Well, Punahou is an expensive school and there are a lot of wealthy kids that go there…and since I don’t think there is such a thing as a poor snob, well, yes, it’s probably true that there are more snobby kids at Punahou than, say, your run of the mill public school. But snobby is a subjective term in itself - I think snobby for many people simply means not being cognisant of the hardships that other people face.
There were lots of middle class kids that went to Punahou, and lots of kids whose parents worked their asses off to send them to Punahou. I would say that for every super rich kid at Punahou there were three that live very basic, middle class lives and had parents who worked very very hard. Is it really fair to group all these kids together?
And here, I understand why you try to blame Punahou itself - not Punahou kids in general - blaming Punahou kids just doesn’t make sense. But lets face it…you hate arrogant little Punahou bitches - not the physical school itself. And guess what, I hate a lot of Punahou kids too. There were a ton of snotty little bitches at that school.
But you know what? There were a ton of snotty little bitches in college too, not to mention every time I go to the mall or see a movie.
In fact, I hate Iolani kids. I hate blacks, I hate mexicans, I hate chinese and I hate Japs (very few japs however, it’s just like that race is a bit superior to others or something..weird ).
I’m an equal opportunity hater, Jak. And I think you should be too, because there are a lot of people to hate in Hawaii, and by just focusing on Punahou kids you’re really missing out.
And ironically, as a mainland haole in Hawaii with a law degree, it’s pretty likely that your friends are going to be from a private school, whether it’s Punahou or that jap shit hole Iolani. I mean, you think Punahou kids are elitist…I think you should go to school with some Iolani kids and compare…
In any case, I say give Hawaii some time. I think your main problem is getting used to being white in a state where white people get called out and some people are just openly hostile.
But you’ll get used to it…thousands of haoles have. And the demographics of Hawaii itself are starting to change in your favor. Really, as long as you stay away from the really local locals you’ll be fine and you’ll probably make a lot of friends.
But, it really is counterproductive pointing the finger at punahou kids or hawaii itself. If you want to be the racial majority there are lots of places you could move to…but you picked hawaii, so deal with it.

Just to clear some shit up:
1 - Honolulu is NOT a small town. It’s the seventh fucking largest fucking city in the fucking country. It’s pretty fucking big. In fact, fucking fact, it’s the fucking biggest fucking city I’ve ever fucking lived in. Or fucked in.
2 - I grew up in a small town. A very small town. Ask The Bear. She’s seen it. One blinking red light. My dad took her on a tour of the town when she came to visit and introduced her to both of the other business people there, and the judge, and the chief of police. It was, literally, a walk around the block. I went to school with kids who lived on little dairy farms and wouldn’t drink the milk at school because “pastuerized milk tastes funny.” This is not a small town.
3 - You are right about most of your post. I fucking hate a lot of Punahou people. However, and this is key, they’re not “kids.” These people are, mostly, officers of the freakin’ Hawaii court. They have law degrees. They are or are nearly 30 years old. Punahou KIDS actually IN Punahou, I got no problem with. Punahou ALUMNI are the people I hate.
4 - As my friend Damon “Silver Spoon” Schmidt pointed out to me once, my exposure to Punahou grads were, for the most part, those people that regardless of their potential (Berkeley grads who got 178s on their LSATs), came back to Hawaii for some reason rather than going forward from where they were. They were “caught in the tractor beam.” So, I suppose, I may have meet a disproportionate number of Punahou alumni who say things like the following:
a) “Oh my god. I’m never going back to the mainland, after college! It’s so dirty and disgusting and everybody’s so horrible and mean!”
“Really? Where did you go to college?”
“UC Santa Barbara.”
and my favorite:
b) “It wasn’t until I saw a statue of him at University of Virgina that I realized General Robert E. Lee wasn’t Korean.”
5 - You seem to forget I just spent several months at the Honolulu Police Academy. I get the “I’m haole with a law degree, get used to seeing Punahou people” thing. Frankly, that’s likely a major contributing factor as to why I’m no longer with HPD. However, I got along a lot better with the Samoan guys from Waianae a lot better than I did with most of my classmates in law school. Also, my ex-girlfriend owned a house in Papakolea. I went trick-or-treating with her nephews up there. Try to fit THAT puzzle piece into your mental jigsaw image of me. Mainly, it just makes me sad that the Honolulu Caste System dictates that because of my education and European ancestry, I’m relegated to dealing with pompus snobby Punahou alumni.
6 - When I say I hate the institution, I mean I hate the greater cultural acceptance of the superiority of private schooling. I clearly don’t hate the physical grounds. I went to a school that didn’t have enough text books in science class to let us take them home. We had to do our homework at the school. I still got to law school. I agree, the public schools in Hawaii suck. But they suck mostly everywhere. It frightens me to think that I may, some day soon, become one of those people that loses sleep because my child isn’t showing enough motor skill when playing with his or her toys to get into the right PRE-SCHOOL so that he or she can get into PUNAHOU.
7 - I’ve lived here for four years now. And your response that “I’m just not used to being a minority blah blah blah” is getting stale. This isn’t about race. Being white just means people think I only eat potatoes and can’t use chopsticks. They do, typically, assume I’m well educated and privledged. I can’t blame them for the second half of that stereotype. It’s true.
I’ve lived here long enough that I feel that this is my home. And if I don’t like something about my home and how it’s run, I am free to say whatever the fuck I want about it. The problem was for the first two years I lived here I kept my mouth shut and didn’t say anything, or question it, because like the good anthropologist I was trained to be, I thought “this is a different culture, and you can’t judge it.” The difference is that now it’s not a temporary experience of cross-cultural learning, it’s my home. And I get to judge my home. And I don’t like Punahou. I suppose, more accurately, I don’t like what Punahou REPRESENTS.
8 - And we’re back to the part of the Hawaii experience that you are capable of understanding, but won’t, because you haven’t experienced it. Everything about who you are in Hawaii is based on who you know. Your high school, your family, your ethnicity. These are all things I have. These are things that have meaning to me. They don’t have any meaning to anybody in Hawaii though, so, as a “mainland haole” I am not given social permission to judge anything in Hawaii. When I do, I’m told “you can’t understand because you’re not from here.” Well, that’s bullshit. I understand just fine. And it’s not like anybody’s ever going to give me a little initiation ceremony and hand me my Official Local Badge. Well, I suppose if I’d made it through the police academy, that’s exactly what they would have done. But the point is that I’ve chosen to make that decision for myself. I don’t have to act, or think, or fall into the caste system in Hawaii to be allowed to have opinions. And if that pisses people off, well, they can suck my big, hairy Sicilian balls.
Honolulu may be the seventh largest city in the nation, but its mentality remains that of a small town. It is a town where residents get excited that a P.F. Chang’s comes into town, and it’s still relatively easy to play the six degrees of separation game. Granted, it’s not nearly as small as your hometown, but I think a lot of the people who have lived there for ages, or have families who have lived there for several generations, still think of Hawaii as a relatively sleepy place to live and grow up. It’s firmly rooted in traditions, like high school graduation parties and hating on the haoles.
Jak, Hawaii isn’t culturally sophisticated its very much a small town. People look to latch on to the easiest stereotype to understand things without doing much thinking.
I have memories as a youth of getting excited to shop at Costco since it involved a drive into town, visiting the new starbucks, watching people line up outside of the new Walmart excited to get inside and shop. I’ve never heard any place else in the United States we’re people act the same way.
With time, people will consider you a local. One thing most people don’t get is that food is an enourmous part of Hawaii culture. If you eat everything that is offered to you, instantly people accept you. Food the opium of the masses. Embrace it.
jak likes poi & kim chee. AND, he ate oxtail soup last night for dinner! (i don’t even eat that stuff) …. =)
the bear doesn’t like oxtail soup?!? Damn, you’re SO not going to blend in if you ever eat at the California Hotel in Vegas!