You may have heard that Muslims get super mad when you draw the prophet Muhammad.  Like, they will kill you, if they get the chance.  Theo Van Gogh made a movie that portrayed Muslims unfavorably, and he was shot.  Eight times.  Then stabbed in the chest.

Two episodes of South Park recently featured Muhammad.  But after the first Muhammad episode, the show’s creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, received death threats prompting Comedy Central to cover images of Muhammad and bleep his name in the second episode.

That brings us to May 20, Everybody Draw Muhammad Day.  Originally started by Molly Norris, who later bailed on the effort, Everybody Draw Muhammad Day encourages people to…well…do exactly what Muslims hate – draw the prophet Muhammad.

The Facebook-driven effort has so far gained a pretty strong following, with over 70,000 people ‘liking’ the page.  It even spawned the cleverly-titled Facebook page, ‘Against ‘Everybody Draw Mohammed Day – May 20.’’

I’d suggest a quick look at the ‘Everybody Draw Mohammed Day’ facebook site.  You’ll see lots of interesting depictions of Muhammad, and lots of angry comments.

It appears that some Muslims kind of don’t get the joke, and have taken to commenting on these pictures, which in turn has encouraged more pictures.  The Facebook page for the ‘Everybody Draw Mohammad Day’ event itself has over five thousand pictures, so far, many of which are pretty rudimentary drawings of the prophet that appear to have been created in Microsoft Paint.

In response, some users have posted pictures of Jesus being shit on and raped.  It’s really quite entertaining.

I don’t think I will ever get why Muslims get so mad about seeing Muhammad pictured.  I mean, I guess if you kind of have to grow up in a Muslim environment to understand.  But with the Internet, getting so mad over pictures of Muhammad seems like a losing battle, as the EDMD site has proved.

Look, we all know Tiger Woods did some pretty bad things.  But today, new text messages between Tiger and porn star Joslyn James emerged, and…let’s face it, Tiger just totally redeemed himself.

Just like how Thomas Jefferson’s ownership of slaves is overlooked because he wrote the Declaration of Independence, I think Tiger’s texts to Joslyn James are so great we have to forgive him.  Forget the press conference, forget him hugging his mom.  He gave us the best text transcript.  Ever.

You can see a full transcript of Woods’ texts here.  But let me give you a few highlights:

• Ok. I would like to have a threesome with you and another girl you trust
• I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
• Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
• Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
• Then im going to tell you to shut the Fuck up while i slap your face and pull your hair for making noise
• Next time i see you, you better beg and if you don’t do it right i will slap, spank, bite and fuck you till mercy
• Have you ever had a golden shower done to you
• Hurry so i come in that ass

Now really, how can you not love Tiger after that?  All this time he seemed so clean and dorky.  But no, the real Tiger was doing ass-to-mouth with porn stars.  Oh, and don’t forget the golden showers.

With these texts in mind, how could Tiger not cheat?  Like, don’t you kind of understand his dilemma after reading this?

Michael Moore’s Capitalism:  A Love Story came out on DVD recently, giving us more of Moore’s anti-corporate, pro little guy shtick.  This time, Moore focuses on the mortgage crisis and its impact on American homeowners and workers.

Moore does a pretty good job of highlighting greed by American corporations.  Of course, Moore sprinkles in a bunch of hard luck stories that are make us get angry at rich people and feel bad for the poor.  Towards the end, Moore plays a clip from FDR and asks us why things like shelter, a job, education and food aren’t guaranteed for all

Americans.

It’s interesting though that while Moore is hammering corporations, he doesn’t hold individuals accountable for their decisions.  After all, individual greed was behind many of the refinances that caused the mortgage crisis.  People refinanced their homes to get cash, and then spent this cash on products rather than insuring that they would be able to pay off their mortgages.

Moore also accuses banks of hiding variable interest rates in ‘fine print.’  But really, if you’re dealing with a six or seven figure mortgage, don’t individuals have the responsibility to take some time and read the fine print, and understand what they’re signing?

You can make as many laws as you want, but at the end of the day if individuals are making deals that they can’t afford and don’t understand, they will be ripped off.  That’s not a problem with capitalism…that’s natural selection.

Really, I think the moral of the story here is that capitalism is not for morons.  And that’s true of any situation that involves lots of cash.

What’s more troubling though, is that Moore calls for protests by citizens when they feel like they’ve been wronged by big corporations.  Is that really the solution here?  If you make bad financial decisions and your property is rightfully seized by your debtors, it isn’t virtuous to protest – it’s breaking the promise that you made.

Moore also extols the virtues of a socialism, which is utterly ridiculous.  Modifying our government to cater the lowest common denominator will make America less competitive while protecting the people in our society that contribute the least.

That may sound like a good idea when you’re looking at a poor family being evicted from their homes.  But it’s not such a good idea when you see the thousand dollar rims on their 86 Honda Accord.

Howard Stern has been catching a ton of flack this week for calling Precious star Gabourey Sidibe fat.  That’s right, the same media that slams women for wearing a dress with the wrong cut or an out-of-style color is defending Sidibe’s looks.

Even stars are praising Sidibe’s looks with a straight face.  Many Oscar attendees, including Oprah, called Sidibe “beautiful” or something similar.

Why won’t anyone call Sidibe fat?

I mean, if someone is a smoker, every asshole on the block will remind them that smoking is unhealthy, or do the “your smoke is bothering me” cough as they walk by.

But a four hundred pound girl walks up on stage and suddenly no one can be critical.  Look, Sidibe is dangerously obese.  She doesn’t have a bad habit that may kill her in 50 years – she has a weight problem that could kill her tomorrow or at least lead to serious problems like diabetes.

Why don’t the same assholes that complain about smokers turn around and complain that fatties like Sidibe are unhealthy and cost American taxpayers when they have medical issues or go on disability because of their enormous guts?  I mean, at least smokers are taxed – a cigarette pack that costs 25 cents to make costs $7 or more thanks to taxes that in turn pay for the education of children and healthcare.  Fatties like Sidibe don’t pay for the costs that they will surely incur on taxpayers down the road.

And yet she’s beautiful.

Look, if we’re going to justify cigarette taxes because of heath care costs, we gotta tax the obese also.  Otherwise, the public should have the balls to just come out and say what anti-smoking measures are:  a witch hunt against an unpopular bad habit.

Praising Sidibe isn’t only bad for Sidibe, it’s bad for fat people everywhere.  The idea that someone can be beautiful even when they’re unhealthily obese gives people the idea that obesity is OK.

But it’s not.

Just like Joe Camel shouldn’t be telling kids that smoking is cool, celebrities should not be on camera praising the appearance of the obese.

So was Stern wrong to call Sidibe enormous?  Not at all.  Incredibly, as superficial and vapid hollywood reporters are today, only Stern had the balls to call a spade a spade.  Sidibe is obese, she’s not healthy, and she sets a poor standard for her fans.

Yes, the 82nd Annual Oscar awards ceremony was held this Sunday, and there were quite a few surprises.

First of all, Avatar didn’t win any major awards, which I think was certainly a good move.  I watched a downloaded copy of Avatar recently, and without the 3D and big screen the movie just doesn’t hold up.  I think most of the appeal of Avatar is the technology – I mean, the story is awful – so while Avatar should win every technical award out there, it certainly should not win for anything that actually has to do with acting or a story.

Mo’Nique won best supporting actress, which I think was a huge mistake.  I don’t mean to sound racist here, but is it really that tough for a black woman to play an angry crack head?  I mean, she grew up in Baltimore and anyone who has seen The Wire can surmise that she grew up in an environment that was filled with Precious-like situations.

It’s kind of like giving The Situation an award for being an Italian douche.  He’s lived in that environment his whole life, so acting like a guido isn’t that much of a stretch.  I think either actress from Up in the Air should have won the best supporting award.

The Hurt Locker won for best picture and best director.  It was definitely a good movie that was entertaining to watch.  But at the same time, a movie about what is happening right now in Iraq doesn’t seem that unique or ground breaking.  If creativity is a key criterion for best picture, which it should be, I don’t think Hurt Locker should have won.

Sandra Bullock won for best actress, although it was kind of surprising that she was even nominated in the first place.  Disney-style, feel good family movies don’t really get that much attention in the Oscars, and The Blind Side definitely was in that bucket.

Bullock did a good job as a strong-willed Southern woman, but is that really a difficult role to play?  Sure, it’s easy for me to monday-morning-quarterback, but it seems like the highlight of her performance was a so-so Southern accent.

I still think Meryl Streep did a better job in Julie and Julia.  I mean, she played Julia Child so well that the image of Streep has kind of replaced the actual memories of Julia Child for me.

At the end of the day though, the Oscars aren’t much more than a popularity contest among Hollywood, and since I didn’t have any money on the event I don’t really care.

Normally a patch of grass that costs $90 will have some medicinal qualities.  But the patch above is more sentimental, especially if you’re a fan of the Yankees.

When the old Yankees stadium was torn down, the grass from the stadium was rolled up, cut into 3 inch square pieces and freeze dried.  Now, for $90 you can buy said grass in its own engraved display case.

Since the grass was freeze dried, it will maintain the same appearance over the years.  In other words, you won’t end up with a bunch of dirt as the grass decays.  I suppose this is a cool gift for a big Yankees fan.  But on the other hand, it does leave you with a patch of grass in a display case, which isn’t a good look for most people.

I like the airline’s policy of making fat people buy two seats if they can’t fit into a single seat.  Sure, everyone has a right to be fat, but that right ends when it starts poking into the sides of fellow, non-obese travelers.  Not to mention the safety risk of having a fat guy crammed into a tiny airplane seat during an emergency.

That’s why I have zero sympathy for Kevin Smith, the writer and director of Clerks, who recently generated a ton of press for getting kicked off a Southwest flight for being too fat.  Apparently, Smith had purchased two tickets, according to Southwest’s rules, but then decided to take an earlier flight where only one seat was available.  Once it was discovered that Smith couldn’t fit into his seat, a fact that Smith apparently already knew since he originally purchased two seats, Smith was booted from the plane.  After the incident, Smith took to Twitter, claiming that Southwest kicked him off because of his size.

I don’t get why Smith is angry here.  He knew that he was too fat to fit into a single seat, that’s why he originally bought two tickets.  It was also his choice to take an earlier flight where only one seat was available.  Really what Smith was doing was inconveniencing another traveler because he wanted to take an early flight.  That’s a dick, selfish and inconsiderate move on Smith’s part.

I mean, have you ever sat next to a fat guy, particularly on Southwest’s tiny seats?  It’s an awful experience, and completely unfair for the person who paid full price for a ticket yet ends up with a fat arm in their side for several hours.

Southwest wasn’t discriminating against Smith, as he claims, because he is ‘too wide for the sky’…they’re trying to create a comfortable environment for their normal-sized passengers and making Smith pay for the real estate that he’s consuming.

Really, Smith is acting like a petulant child who got caught doing something that he already knew was wrong.  Smith’s tweets are selfish and juvenile, and I hope Southwest doesn’t change their policy because of this incident.  In fact, I’d prefer to fly an airline who gets rid of fatties, rather than one that coddles them.

So the nominees for 2010 Oscars were released a few days ago.  Avatar got nominated for a shit load of awards, and I’m sure this year they movie will dominate the Oscars.  Here are my thoughts on the nominees, and there are a few spoilers, as well.

Avatar:  Look, I agree that this movie was visually stunning.  The 3D and CGI really placed you in this alien planet.  But the story was long, generic and predictable.  The characters might as well have been wearing ‘good guy’ ‘bad guy’ shirts on.  And you could tell how the movie was going to end 15 minutes into the film.  So, can Avatar still be best picture?  I dunno.  The film really looked great, but it’s like of like a super hot Miss USA contestant winning the title, even though she has been hooking on the side  – giving her award just kind of makes a mockery of the competition.

Precious:  This movie made me think I could be a screen writer.  Just take a minority, place them in an awful situation that involves minority problems like lack of education, drugs and throw in a little incest for good measure.  Sure, Monique played a crack head well…but then again, a crack head isn’t a very complex character, is it?  Who knows, she may have just been on crack during filming.  And the girl who played Precious was really just playing a fat black girl…again, not too much of a stretch.

District 9:  I like how District 9 took a new approach to the alien genre.  I also liked the gritty, documentary feel of the movie.  The alien costumes were at times a bit low res, but overall this was a pretty good movie.

Inglorious Basterds:  A decent movie, but not best picture material.  Also, I’m skeptical that a movie that shows jews killing Nazi’s and Hitler is in the running for best picture.  Talk about a home field advantage.

The Blind Side:  Not surprisingly this movie was a pretty sappy sports movie, and I’m surprised it got nominated for best picture.  I enjoyed watching it, but really the storyline was really just a recycled generous-white-person-helps-minority tale.  Still, this was one of the few movies nominated for best picture that really leaves you with a good feeling at the end.go

Up in the Air:  This movie was kind of over hyped way before it was in wide release.  When I finally saw it, it was somewhat of a let down.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t hard to sit through at all.  But the idea of a guy who travels a lot…not very unique to me.  Neither is the idea of a guy with no wife?  And they say Clooney is a good actor in this movie, but really he’s kind of too good looking for this part.  In reality, if Clooney was in this role he’d be banging girls left and right, and he’d have to settle down with the ones he got preggers.

Up:  This movie actually wasn’t bad.  It was a lot more serious than other Pixar movies, and surprisingly this worked out well with CGI.  The whole balloon thing was not very realistic…but whatever, it’s a cartoon so you kind of have to forgive that.

It seems pretty clear that Avatar is gonna take away a ton of awards, including best picture.  That’s too bad, because I’d rank it behind Basterds, Up in the Air, District 9 and Up.

I also think Bruno should have been nominated for something.  Really, when you look at these actors half of them are playing characters pretty close to their actual persona.  Clooney is a guy who travels a lot and bangs random chicks he meets at hotels?  Not a big stretch.  Monique is playing a fat black lady…is that really deserving of an Oscar?

But Bruno played a gay guy, even though Cohen is straight in real life.  Plus, he did this all in one-take scenarios where his acting was critical to keeping the bits alive.

Well, the Oscars are in a month.  Check it out.

Joma is running a special deal of day today offering a Gucci Wallet for $129  Check it out

Personally I think this is a pretty good deal most likely the wallet retails for 150 or so.

I saw these macadamia nuts with spam today at Don Quijote. And actually they didn’t taste bad at all. The spam flavor itself is delivered in a powder, and it does kinda taste like spam. But a single can has 90g of fat, so these things aren’t exactly good for you - you’re actually better off eating regular spam.

Posted via email from Japa’s posterous

The funeral for Bengals receiver Chris Henry was held today.  If you’re not aware, Henry was killed after he was thrown from the bed of a pickup that his fiancée was driving.

While it wouldn’t be hard to convince me that fellow Bengals receiver Chad Ochocino lacks class, it is surprising that he didn’t even put on a suit for the funeral.  I mean really, he’s a multimillionaire – he can’t don a suit for just one day?

Actually, Ochocinco wasn’t the only one who was underdressed – check out this guy who came to the funeral in a jump suit.

Philly fans are known for being pretty unruly, but really this is ridiculous…and I’m not just saying that because I’m from the Bay Area.  As you’ve probably heard, a snowstorm on the east coast caused the delay of several NFL games this weekend.  And while the fields were relatively clear come game time, tons of snow was still packed in the seats.

That’s bad news for a couple of Niner fans who decided to enjoy Sunday’s game at Philly in their Niner jerseys.  The video below shows them being relentlessly pelted with snowballs, until security comes to remove them.

While it’s kind of sad that the niner fans were forced to leave because they were getting pelted, but really, snowballs were coming from every direction so security didn’t have any other choice.