The song has been stuck in my head for days.

Its 6 hours and counting until the Howard Stern show comes back from vacation.  As you may recall from Japa’s previous posting Artie Lange decided to unceremoniously quit from the show amidst a fight with his assistant Teddy. 

I’ve been a Stern fan for a number of years and its always been apparent that Howard is the perennial professional. I don’t see how he can allow Artie to remain on the show while he abuses the staff, falls asleep on the show and generally doesn’t care about being there.  Artie has been getting worst and worst on the show, he barely talks and he seems to just not care about the day to day.  Its like he’s touring at a frantic pace to gather cash quickly for some end.  What is it?

I hope Artie comes back but if he’s going to be an asshole all the time and not contribute to the show he’s gotta go.

So Artie does Artie on Donny Deutche

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Howard TV will be available for a special one cent promotional rate starting today, February 7, 2008.  This is a great time to check it out.

For those of you that are not familiar, Howard TV is an on demand version of the show that both recaps daily shows and gives you access to special Howard-related clips and shows.

The daily show recap is awesome…on there now is a great clip of Jim Cramer’s appearance on the show.

There are also great clips of wack packers, stern show staff, and girls that appear on the show.  Special shows created for Howard TV are on there as well, like the must see Miss Howard Stern reality show.

For a cent, you gotta check it out.   Availability varies by provider - most cable carriers should have it in their on demand menu.  Satellite TV providers will not have it, however.

For those of you Howard fans out there, you can’t miss The History of Howard Stern.  It’s on this week on Sirius, or available….probably…for download.

The series tracks Howard’s life from his formative years to his many radio jobs across the country.  It’s the most comprehensive history of stern I’ve heard to date.

You not only hear interviews with Stern’s many former managers, coworkers and friends, you get priceless clips from the Stern show throughout the years.

It’s a masterpiece.  Check it out now.

Mark your calendars gents, the Hack pack aka Killers of Comedy are making an appearance at the Great America Music Hall in San Francisco.  At $25 a pop, I definitely think its worth seeing all your favorite Stern show characters like Gary the Retard and the Iron Sheik.  The funny thing about seeing those people is that they really don’t have any talent other than being themselves.  I wonder if they just invite Gary on stage to say something retarded to the audience, then people just laugh.  My guess is that they have Iron Sheik yell at something for laughs too.  Shuli and Bob Levy are pretty shitty but I think the novelty value outweighs their tired acts.

I kind of don’t like writing about Stern stuff, because lots of people don’t really listen to the show so it will just be boring…but the whole Lonny Heckman story is something that must be mentioned.

As you may know, Howard is engaged to his long-time gf Beth, and as a tribute several Stern fans sent in Howard/Beth songs.  One of these songs was “When I See Beth Smiling,” which was submitted by a guy named Lonny Heckman.

Stern goofed on the song for a long time…and not without cause - the lyrics were sappy, the vocals were a bit off…all in all, the song didn’t seem great.  Howard even got Lonny on the phone to talk to him about the song.

But then Shaw Blades, a cover band, came into the studio and covered When I See Beth Smiling, and their version was actually not bad at all.  In fact, it became somewhat of an underground hit for the group…and a mainstay on their tours.

The final twist in this story came in late November when Lonny passed away due to kidney failure complications.  Sadly, he died just before he was to attend a Shaw Blades concert where his song was going to be performed.

Howard and the rest of the show was stunned when they heard that Lonny passed.  They even had Lonny’s mom on the phone, and Lonny’s parents went to the Shaw Blades concert in his stead.  Apparently during the show the crowd chanted Lonny’s name and when Shaw Blades played When I See Beth Smiling they dedicated the song to him.

It’s a really interesting and touching story…and it kind of of underscores the organic nature of the Stern show and how at times it can grow beyond itself.  Below is a short video from the show when Shaw Blades first performed Lonny’s song.

For those of you Howard fans out there, check out the finale of the Miss Howard Stern Show (MHSS) which is available tonight on Howard TV on Demand.  All four episodes of the series, which debuted on October 31, are now available on demand along with some cool extras.

The verdict?  Well, it was not bad…but far from good and frankly a little disappointing.  The show basically follows a few days in the life of Miss Howard Stern, whose real name is Andrew Ownbey.

It’s hard to describe Andrea…she’s a southern white girl that’s very ditzy.  When she won the Miss Howard Stern crown a few years ago she seemed sweet, friendly and relatively conservative.  But since then she’s been on this dramatic downward spiral of sex, alcohol and I think drugs.

For example, during her pitch for the MHSS she had sex with her boyfriend while the producers were on the phone.  And this was played on radio of course.  Not only that, but she’s had four abortions.  She also has a kid.  Actually, I think she makes an excellent case for the legalization of abortions…bring her into any church and it’d be hard for a reverend to say she should have kept any one of those babies.

The show focuses around her partying and getting fucked up.  You see her drink a lot and get slutty and belligerent.  She also vomits on camera with pieces of french fries coming out of her nose.

Throughout the show she also is kind of staring to date this rocker guy.  It’s interesting to see his reaction to her, because on one hand he clearly wants to fuck her, but on the other she’s always passing out, getting in fights or otherwise being a needy drunk.  On their first date she threw up in front of him…before the date even started.  She also brought a puke pail to dinner.

It’s nice that the show has a lot of T&A.  And since it’s on cable it’s uncensored.  But Andrea has gotten pretty chubby, and is barely clinging on to her looks.  She’s dropped about 3 points on a 10 point scale since winning the Miss Howard Stern crown.

I have mixed feelings about the show because there’s really very little underlying plot or theme.  Although it’s fun to just watch Andrea be dumb and get fucked up, that gets old pretty quickly.  After the kind of slapsticky drunkeness and sluttyness runs out, there’s not very much left.  Very little character development and really nothing to look forward to.

The series is also very short - four 30 minute episodes.  It only follows a few days of Andrea’s life, so not much happens other than the aforementioned partying.  Also, a lot of each episode is just listening to people you don’t really care about get interviewed.  Boring.

Don’t get me wrong…the show was decent and LOL funny at times.  But you can tell it’s not a prime time show due to it’s lack of depth.  And it sounds weird to say a show about Andrea lacks depth…because there’s not a lot of depth there.  But there is a LOT more about Andrea’s life we could have learned about - we get a taste of this on the radio show - and I just wish the so-called reality show actually went there.

But still, check it out - don’t let me turn you off to it.  Below is a fan-made trailer.  Note it’s NSFW.  I’m also guessing that this trailer will be taken down soon.

I love that Japa has finally gotten to like Howard Stern to the same extent  that I have.  I still remember trying to convince him constantly that Howard was great and not simply a hack that tries to “shock” audiences. 

1.  Artie announced that he’s burned out and feels like he’s going to die.  He stated that he’s going to leave the show in January in an attempt to get “healthy.”  He plans to travel to Europe and spend some time clearing his head.   He also mentioned that he may enter rehab just for the respite from his daily life.

2.  When consoling Artie, Howard mentioned that there were two times in his life when he reached a low point.  He used the phrase “There was two times in my life when I had a gun in my mouth.” 

Wow, this is pretty surprising considering the fame and success Howard has achieved.  Robin was very shaken up with these comments, she said “I’m shaking, I don’t want to be here anymore”  I’m sure the show is going to come back to Howard’s comments and try to fully explain what he meant by that statement.  We all knew that Howard had some issues, but this explains his need for therapy three times a week.