Cramer being timid and sad is like when you yell at a pet dog and it creeps towards you with its head down.

Monday was the season finale of Teminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  My take on the first season?  Good…really, really good.

Sure, the acting isn’t great.  There is a lot of forced drama, some corny dialogue, some irrelevant side plots.  And oh yeah, the show doesn’t fit at all with Terminator 3.

But even with all of this in mind, season one was great to watch.  The episodes fit together well, and the plot was that classic Terminator story of machine trying to fit in among humans, Connor trying to handle his future, and Sarah trying not to freak out.

I love it.

Also, in the season finale we learn a couple of pretty important things.  First of all, Terminators can get married to humans.  One of the Terminators sent to kill John got married and carried on a relationship with a human pretty well…before he broke her neck.

What does that mean?  Cameron, aka super hot Summer Glau is gonna hook up.  I called it before and now I swear it’s gonna happen.

Not only that but as a Stern caller pointed out, Cameron swallows a pancake.  That, along with the married Terminator means that Terminators have human organs and can probably bang.

And the best part is John is getting all close to Cameron.  He’s been defending her all season, but in the finale he’s lying on top of her screwing this chip into her head.  Then he starts caressing her face while he’s leaning all over her.

My guess?  Cameron and John are getting it on in season 2.  I love it.

Plus, they have Cameron walking around in these hot little outfits.  Like, imagine a Terminator in short jeans shorts, tight black top and fuck me boots…hoooooot.

Anyway, if you haven’t watched this season yet be sure to check it out.  It has full Japadamus approval.  Ok, sure Summer is hot and she makes me want to watch this fucking Serenity movie….but more than that, it’s a great series with decent writing and a solid Terminator script.

We all knew this would happen.  I’ve said it before.  If you need a refresher, ‘The Moment of Truth’ is a game show that gives cash prizes to contestants for answering questions honestly.

In the earlier rounds, the show is simply embarrassing.  People steal money, people do gay shit, people have weird sexual escapades.

But in the six figure rounds, the questions become life-ruining.

In this week’s Moment of Truth, the contestant got into the $100,000 round…and things started to get pretty bad.

The girl admitted that she was in love with a guy other than her husband on her wedding night.  Then, they brought in the woman’s ex boyfriend to ask questions.  The first question was whether she would get back with her ex if he wanted to.  And the contestant’s sister saved her from that question.

But the next question was whether she thought that she thought she should actually be with her ex…and her answer was yes.  Making her husband, who was present, pretty upset.  So, that question won her $100,000.

The first question in the $200,000 round?  Did she have sexual relations with someone other than her husband.  And the answer was yes.

Finally, the second question in the $200,000…”do you think you’re a good person?”  She answered yes, but the lie detector said no.

The result?  The girl loses ALL of the money…and possibly her marriage.

Sadly, this was some pretty good TV.  I mean, how can you possibly resist this stuff?

It’s a great show that’s feels like watching a train wreck in slow motion.  Check it out.

The Moment of Truth premiered last night on Fox.  I’ve been waiting to see this show for a while and I think it’s a pretty unique concept.

Here’s how it works:

Before the show, contestants are asked 50+ questions while attached to a lie detector.  21 of these questions are chosen for the game.  Each game has 5 rounds.  The first round has 6 questions, the 2nd round has 5 questions, all the way to the final round which has 1 question.

As long as the contestant tells the truth for each question he/she keeps on going to the next question.  All the contestant has to do is answer all of the 21 questions truthfully and they will win half a million dollars.

To answer a question truthfully, the contestant’s answer on the show must be the same as the results of the lie detector test.  You don’t even actually see the lie detector test, it happens entirely off the show.  Once the contestant lies, they are done.

After each round, the contestant can choose to take the money or keep on playing for the $500k.  I’m not sure how much each round is worth, but the first one was $10k.  Once a question is asked the contestant has to answer it - you can’t just stop in the middle of a round.

3 of the contestant’s family and/or friends are there as well.  They have one chance to skip a question, but there is no assurance that the subsequent question will be easier or less humiliating.

The contestant also has the opportunity to change their answer given while taking the lie detector test.  I’m not sure how this works though - they didn’t go into it in depth on the show, and no one picked this option.

The questions increase in difficulty in each round.  At first they start off as merely embarrassing, like have you looked at a guy’s junk in the locker room shower, or have you hit a car and not left a note.

As the rounds go on, the questions get more personal and hurtful.  This is where the contestant’s family/friends come in, because the answers really start to involve these people.  There seems to be a lot of ‘have you done gay stuff’ questions as well.

The first contestant started to get questions about his marriage, like did he ever think that his marriage would not last, etc.  Also, they asked him questions like did he ever touch a customer more than he needed to (he was a personal trainer), and this was the question where he lied.

One of the biggest problems I have with the show is that you don’t know the results of the lie detector beforehand, nor do you have any verification that the show is actually telling the truth.  So really, they show could just keep people from winning money by saying that they are lying with their answers.

The audience is kind of annoying in this game, because they ooh and aahhh at each question, even if the answer is really not very damaging.  Also, the show tries to build suspense during each question, so it gets kind of tedious.  Even during the most benign questions, there is a dramatic pause before the answer is given.  Boring.

I also am not entirely convinced of the reliability of lie detector tests in general.  These are not 100% correct, and I wonder if this will present problems for contestants.

Another thing is I don’t really get why contestants would lie.  If they lie, the truth still comes out on national TV.  Even if they refuse to answer the question, it’s obvious that the truth was the more harmful answer.

Still, the show is entertaining.  Given how the questions are proceeding, you can tell they get really personal in the later rounds.  Like, at some point the questions will get bad enough to break up marriages.  And I can’t wait to see it.

The first show barely scratched the surface though.  There were only two contestants, and the first one got booted off early in the 2nd round.  The second contestant ran out of time and his show will be continued next time.

Definitely check it out.  It’s a guilty pleasure, to be sure.  But it’s not the worst thing you could do with your time.

I wasn’t huge on this year’s ‘celebrity’ version of the Apprentice…but I have to say last nite the show was in rare form.

My theory was that this year, the show would be like a popularity contest, with the more famous celebrities being kept, while little known celebrities were fired.  And that was true for the first two episodes, but in last night’s episode Gene Simons fucked things up.

I have to say, Gene Simmons is amazing.  I don’t know much about the guy, but he has an incredibly powerful personality.  He can command the respect of a room instantly while still remaining quiet and calm.  Oh yeah, and this makes women want to fuck him too.

I think Simmons was probably the most famous and the most wealthy celebrity on the show.  And he knew it.  I think this made him even more cocky and confident than normal.  This attitude would probably work for Simmons in any other situation, but on the apprentice he butted heads with Trump.

And you could tell Trump really wanted to keep Simmons.  During the board room, Donald practically begged Simmons to bring in a scape goat.  But he didn’t, and he was booted.

The show will really take a hit without Simmons.  And that’s where the the celebrity aspect of this show really fails.  There isn’t a powerful personality like Simmons left on the show, and no one with real business savvy.  I mean, most of these people are entertainers…not educated business people.  Perhaps the show peaked this episode.

But I have to say, there is one person that will keep me watching all season…and she can’t be fired.  Ivanka.  My god is she hot.  A near perfect body, beautiful face, sexy voice.

And Ivanka really gains a lot with her x-factor.  She’s very smart and incredibly well spoken.  Even though Ivanka is only 26, she was able to go head to head with Simmons, continually putting him in his place.  Other than Trump himself, Ivanka was the only one who could really control Simmons, along with the rest of the cast.  And that is sexy as hell.

We’ll see how the next few episodes play out.  There are a few more interesting characters left…but man, Simmons’ departure was a big loss for the show.

It’s that time of year again, kids.  Season 7 of American Idol premiered last night, with the first trials taking place in Philly.

This is a critical year for Idol, since ratings last season were down and sales of season 6 winner Jordin Sparks’ CD were a bit disappointing.  Still the show is a cash cow…primarily for one reason, Americans are idiots.

I haven’t watched a full season of Idol since season 1, but with the writer’s strike there’s not much else on TV.  Also, Howard always talks about Idol, so sadly I’m kind of forced to watch.

I actually don’t mind these early episodes because hey, they are entertaining.  It’s incredible that the show can fill a stadium full of Idol wannabees.  It’s also incredible that so many people think they actually have talent.

I’ve always wondered how you actually get in front of Randy, Paula and Simon.  From what I’ve heard, you have to go through several rounds of pre-screening off TV first, then the more interesting or talented contestants get through.  It’s actually a great system to find quality singers and douches who will make a fool of themselves to get on TV.  Who needs writers anyway?

The show is still incredibly cheesy at times…like when the judges act concerned when a contestant cries.  It seems though, that they’re making an effort to improve their image…even Simon seemed slightly compassionate last night.

All in all, it’s a brilliant show that is finely tuned to evoke the gamut of emotions in a single 40 minute episode.  I just hope there’s another sanjaya in this year’s crop.

After episode two tonight, I’m officially on the Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles (TSCC) bandwagon.  The show is not without it’s faults, but I like the story, enjoy the characters, and love Summer Glau, who plays the hot girl Terminator, Cameron.

The show has several storylines that work well together and should carry the show through at least a couple of seasons with no problem.  You have John, Sarah and Cameron looking to stop SkyNet, along with the bad Terminators looking to stop them.  You also have John trying to grow up and settle in, and Sarah trying to do her thing…which usually means hooking up with a few guys as well as protecting John and generally being a disagreeable bitch.

There are also people looking for Sarah and John, because remember they robbed a bank in episode 1.  Although they were presumed dead at the scene, a cop and Sarah’s ex fiancee saw them on TV when they time ported in the middle of the street.  And of course, the first thing John does is see Sarah’s ex fiancee, which is bad news because now that guy knows John is alive for sure.

Finally, you have the mechanical Terminator trying to be human.  I’ll admit this theme has been played throughout the various Terminator movies, but Summer does it well…and god fuck is she hot.  I’m giving her at least an 8.

And she isn’t just a face…she plays the role well.  Summer does an excellent job with the Terminator’s monotone matter-of-fact statements and comical naiveté.  It’s soooo much better with Summer rather than Arnold.  It sounds superficial, but the fact that she is a smoking hot girl really does help the show by leaps and bounds.

Episode two is in the present (2007) and John, Sarah and Cameron are taking first steps, which means establishing themselves with identification.  You have a couple encounters with another Terminator, although since the three jumped ahead in time the present-day Terminators don’t really know who they are - I guess they think they’re dead.

However, the original Terminator from episode one did get timeported to 2007 as well, except all of his human-looking flesh was burned off and he was in pieces.  In episode 2, the Terminator basically gets his pieces back together - which is weird, since the Terminator lost his head, how did he see? - and walks around all covered up so his metal body is not exposed.  There is some foreshadowing that this Terminator, who is the only one that recognizes 1999 Sarah, John and Cameron, will be a problem for them very soon.

We also learn that unlike Arnold in Terminator 2, Cameron will not take orders from “this John,” meaning John Connor in 2007.  This means she kills people very quickly, with even the presence of suspicion.  I’m guessing that this is one of the things she will work on throughout the series.

Cameron also explains that one of the reasons they are in 2007 is that Sarah died from cancer in 2005.  Future John sent Cameron back to 1999 to pick up Sarah and little John and bring them 2007, because 1) that is when SkyNet was started and 2) because Sarah is a good fighter and will help their cause.

It’s a moderately complex storyline, but it works in this series so far.  It’s a bit hard to follow at times, but no where near as convoluted as Heroes usually is.

In any case, you really have to check this show out…and I suggest you get started early so you’re up to date.  Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Mondays on Fox.

I’ve been pretty excited about The Sarah Connor Chronicles (TSCC) - the tv series based on the Terminator trilogy.  Well, episode one premiers right now…

-Sarah Connor in this series is pretty hot…for an older woman at least.  But John Connor looks like a little kid.  At least he’s not a douche like that kid in Terminator 2.

-Ugh, dream sequence with John getting killed by the Terminator then a nuke going off.  Lame in comparison to the one in Terminator 2.

-So, Sarah’s just engaged.  That woman does get around quite a bit.  She got a tiny ring tho.  Maybe she should just start spitting out babies in case John gets killed.  Of course John was made from future Terminator killer sperm, so it probably wouldn’t be the same.

-The problem with the Terminators is they always try to kill John…they never do it on the DL.  Like, why not get Sarah hooked on crack during her pregnancy so John is a flipper baby rather than a leader of the human resistance.

-We learn it’s 1999, in Nebraska of all places.  Ouch…lots of overacting and canned dialogue.  Sarah and John are taking off from Nebraska and moving away from Sarah’s fiancee after living there for 6 months.

-More timeline stuff…we’re about 2 years after the end of Terminator 2.  Sarah is wanted by the cops for killing Dyson and blowing up the SkyNet research center.

-Wow…the acting is pretty bad.  Lots of yelling and cheesy dialogue.

-Sarah is short, ~5′4″, 110 pounds.

-We see the first shots of the terminator.  He has red eyes, like the old model terminator, not the liquid metal one.

-The movie 10,000 BC looks like a snoozer.  I mean, it looks pretty but seems overly ambitious without a very compelling plot.  And too many elephants.

-Ok, so Sarah and John move to New Mexico.  He’s bummed cuz he has to keep moving.  He meets a hot girl in class, who I believe is the good Terminator.  She is pretty decent looking…a solid 7 at least.

-That makes me think, in the future Terminators could just be sex slaves…like, Real Dolls that move and look and talk like humans.  What if that was the downfall of society, people make robot Real Dolls, Real Dolls gain consciousness, and the world is taken over by hot robots.

-John calls New Mexico a hick town, but he was just in Nebraska…wtf?

-John is kind of a bummer.  Like, he’s talking to his hot girl about how his dad died and how his mom is all nuts.  Waaaaaah.  Good lines there, buddy.  What a homo.

-So, their substitute teacher is a Terminator.  You can tell because he sticks a letter opener in his leg to get a hidden gun.  Does that make sense to anyone?  Like, why not just put it in your pocket…why hide it in your leg, then have to cut open your leg like an asshole?

-And now he’s shooting at John…in school.  The terminator’s line?  “Class dismissed” as students are huddled under desks.  Who’s writing this shit?  I heard that the writers are on strike because the dialogue in Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles makes their profession look bad.

-Any time now hot Terminator girl.  Bad Terminator is all over John about to shoot him in the school parking lot.

-Ah, there she is.  “Come with me if you want to live,” she says.  Hot.  I can’t wait until these two are f’ing.

-So, just a recap:  Hot Girl Terminator saved John by hitting the Bad Terminator with a truck, then driving off with John.

-Sarah shows up at the school after she learns that there were shootings.  Terminator catches her and is using fake Sarah voice to trick John on the phone.

-So, Bad Terminator takes Sarah back home to meet John after tricking John with fake Sarah voice.  But Hot Girl Terminator comes in, acting like John by using fake John voice, and starts fighting with the bad Terminator.  She’s putting on a decent fight.  Sweet, she shocks bad Terminator…then escapes with Sarah and John.

-She didn’t kill bad Terminator by shocking him…it just makes him have to reboot, which takes 160 seconds.

-John, Sarah and hot girl Terminator are in some barn regrouping.

-Hot Girl Terminator is topless taking out bullets from her chest…makes up for dialogue.

-We learn that although Dyson was killed in Terminator 2, another guy brings the SkyNet computer online.

-Sarah and the hot girl Terminator seem to be getting a little catty with each other.

-The cops get reports that the shooter had a robot leg.

-John brings up a good point…there should be no Terminators after Arnold was destroyed in Terminator 2.  And he’s bitching about not being able to lead an army and blah blah blah.  He’s turning out to be a bit of a pussy.

-Sarah decides to go and try and destroy SkyNet…again.

-I’m really liking this idea of making hot Terminators, rather than making them look like Arnold.  We learn that the hot girl Terminator is “different” than previous models.  I’m betting that this means they’re more like humans and can fall in love and f and stuff.  I’m hoping John and hot girl Terminator girl make little half human half Terminator babies.  hoooottt.

-Sarah and John and hot girl Terminator go back to Dyson’s house…you remember the black family from Terminator 2?  They’re pretty angry, because they think Sarah killed Dyson.

-The bad Terminator is at Dyson’s house now with a big gun.  Hot girl Terminator blows up Sarah’s truck to stop him.  Nice.

-The Applebee’s apple is voiced by Wanda Sykes.  Imagine that, an apple speaking ebonics.  Does that make you want to go to Applebees at all?

-Ooohhh, Sarah got shot.  You’d think they’d have bullet proof vests at th