J.J. Abrams, the creator of Lost and Alias has another show out on Fox called Fringe.  The first episode, which was budgeted at $10 million, premiered recently…and it was good.

Fringe deals with fringe science, such as regeneration, telepathy, time travel, etc.  Like Lost, the first episode takes place on a plane in distress.  But in Fringe a chemical compound is released on the plane that basically destroys the skin on all the passengers.  The plane lands on autopilot, with blood and flesh on the windows.

The show has an x-files-like feel.  Lots of mystery and science…maybe science fiction.  I won’t go too far into the plot of the first episode, but it involves a mad scientist, his genius kid and a government agency with knowledge of supernatural events.

What I like about Finge, compared to Lost, is that it appears that each episode will be a somewhat complete story.  You won’t be strung along for years, but will instead get some resolution of at least a minor mystery in each episode.  And if Abrams is doing it, I’m on board.

Like X-files, there is also a corporate and perhaps government conspiracy plot as well.  This seems like it will be the element that ties together individual episodes…again, a lot like X-Files.

The acting was decent.  Joshua Jackson from the Mighty Ducks plays the role of the genius kid who is kind of cocky and sarcastic, a nice tough.  Blair Brown is the lead.  I’ve never heard of her, but so far she appears to fit the role nicely.  She is intelligent and persistent, yet mildly attractive in a Scully sort of way.

I think this show will be popular…but that’s not a difficult call considering Abrams prints hits.  The premier had a good mix of elements, a compelling mystery that actually gets resolved, and overhanging conspiracy theory that involves some pretty creepy stuff, and enough character development to connect the science with actual people.

Check the premier out, it’s available on bittorrent.

OK you guys know that I was early on The Wire bandwagon, well the new shit is Generation Kill on HBO.  This show is incredible, its a true story about the invasion of Iraq by a Marine recon unit.  I don’t want to give too much of the story away, but here are the details:

• They kill a shit load of people, usually Iraqis which they call Hajjis
• They all have cool nicknames
• Its by the creator of The Wire
• Its on HBO
• The dialogue is incredible, and they use cool code words
• The action is amazing

I’ll give you guys a couple of days before I start discussing the early episodes…

I finally finished the latest season of Top Chef last night.  Overall it was another strong season for the show, although there were several weak points that were annoying.

The weakest point of season 4 were the contestants.  For some reason, the show had 3 lesbians, including two lesbians that were a couple.

Now, I’m not biased against gays, but really this seemed like a cheap ratings ploy that decreased the integrity of the show in my mind.  I mean, you expect that Hell’s Kitchen will choose contestants for their personalities rather than their cooking ability…and that is fine because it is a Fox show.  But Top Chef was always more focused on the food and cooking, rather than the personalities of the contestants.

I would have preferred to see more diversity among cooking styles than lifestyles.  And I’m sure a more compelling mix of cooking styles could have been picked if Bravo wasn’t so focused on what seemed to me to be a pro-lesbian, feminist agenda.

Not only that, but the inclusion of a couple in the show was inexcusable.  You can’t tell me that these two were the best chefs available…because they were far from it.  If Top Chef thinks it will be more successful with more human drama, it’s wrong.  It’s a show about food first…not a reality show.

For the most part, there were few distinctive cooking styles this season.  You had Richard who played around a bit with molecular gastronomy, but was nothing like Marcel.  Then you have Lisa whose focus was ‘Asian’, although mostly her food looked like a poor fusion knock off.

With that said, I am glad that Stephanie won.  She did a good job throughout the competition, and was one of the leaders in terms of wins.  Her food seemed strong too, and she wasn’t too fancy about things.  Stephanie’s focus was to focus on simplicity while letting the ingredients speak for themselves…and it seemed to work.

I do have to say that I can’t see her taking charge of a kitchen.  She’s just too nice.  And one thing missing from season 4 was a comprehensive restaurant challenge where they actually have to turn out a meal service.  But apparently Stephanie does already operate her won restaurant, so who knows?

The other finalists were a mixed bag.  Going into the finals I thought Richard would blow away the other two.  He was generally more inventive and his molecular gastronomy techniques had the potential to overshadow the more basic techniques of his competitors.  But he seemed to really falter when it came to creating a cohesive tasting menu…and as he admitted, he choked.

Lisa on the other hand was a complete cunt throughout the season, and she had no right to be in the finals…much less win.  And she came close to taking the whole thing, thank god she lost to Stephanie or I would have never been able to watch the show again.

Lisa was your typical fat, dykey lesbian with an attitude.  That was annoying for sure, mostly because she didn’t back up her attitude with good cooking.  She had one of the least impressive quick fire records, and most of the time her ‘asian’ food looked like cheap knockoffs of various asian dishes.

All in all, this season was entertaining, but also frustrating.  I think Top Chef has always focused more on food, and it should continue to do so.  If it strays into a more typical type of tabloid reality show style then it will be indistinguishable from Hell’s Kitchen.  I hope next season they bring in chefs with a wider variety of cooking styles and let they chips fall where they may in terms of personality.

I don’t know how many of you are following this season of Top Chef but I would like to weigh in on who I believe will win the season. 

My money is currently on Richard.  If you look at his performance throughout the season it has been consistently strong.  He has the ability to to make complicated molecular gastronomie dishes while at the same time do simpler food preparations; each time wowing the judges.  His main competition is clearly Stephine, although she is definitely adapt, her style seems to range from haute cuisine to amazingly seasoned “American food”  I’ve never really got the impression that she was pushing any larger boundaries through her cuisine.  She seemed to keep it simple and safe throughout the race. 

Lisa frankly is terrible.  She’s always on the chopping block and her food doesn’t look all that impressive or delicious.  It doesn’t help her case that she remains perpetually apathetic and unashamed of being named in the bottom 2 at almost every competition.  It baffles me how someone like Dale could of been eliminated with stats of ELIMINATION CHALLENGE WINS: 3/12, QUICKFIRE WINS: 1/12 AND LISA with 1/12 Elimination Challenge wins and zero quick fire wins!!  She’s somehow managed to stay alive by throwing people under the bus.  Her attitude is terrible along with her food. 

Antonia is a dark horse.  I don’t know quite what to make of her prospects for victory.  Frankly her food looks perfect but its just not what you’d expect from a “Top Chef.”  Most of her dishes look like something an accomplished home chef would whip up in the kitchen on a weekend  night.  Usually the recipes involve simple ingredients prepared technically excellent without a lot of pretense.  As a character she has a great personality.  Early on in the show she came off(or was framed in editing) as being somewhat of a complainer and a little bitchy.  As the show as progressed we’ve seen a softer quiet side emerge that has been a proven asset.

One thing that throws a wrench into my prediction is my believe that there is an institutional bias on the part of the producers to have a women win the competition this year.  I think this is plainly obvious shown by Lisa remaining on the show and how it seems that better male chefs were eliminated earlier.

As mentioned in my previous post, I just started watching BSG.  And so far, I like it a lot.  The series starts off with a 2 part TV movie, then goes on for four more seasons.  I’m in the middle of season 2 right now.  The series will end this year, but a prequel called Caprica has already been announced.

I’m not really into sci-fi either.  I never got into Star Trek, and plus the genre is really dorky.  But although BSG is sci-fi, it’s not crazy, you-need-to-learn-kilingon-to-be-accepted sci-fi.

At its core, BSG is a humans-create-machines-then-machines-take-over story.  The machines are called Cylons, and they have destroyed the planets that humans live on, leaving only about 50,000 humans left, most of which are on space ships.

And these humans aren’t earth humans.  They’re from a different solar system, but they do believe that the human race was separated a long time ago, with some humans moving to Earth.  They don’t know this for sure, but they believe it because it is in their religious scriptures.

In any case, the show is basically about humans trying to avoid the Cylons while trying to find a new place to live.  They believe that that new place is Earth.

But the Cylons keep chasing them, and some of the Cylons look like humans.  So, they’re kind of like sleeper cells.  They’re also really good copies of humans - even on the inside - so it’s very difficult to tell them apart.

But what’s great about BSG is that it doesn’t get too caught up in the sci-fi shit.  The storyline involves politics, religion and philosophy…it just happens to take place in space.  This is great for the show, because it makes you get really involved in the characters.

BSG is also a bit like Lost, in that the humans have a lot to discover and learn, all while escaping the Cylons.  But unlike Lost, BSG gives you enough progress and action so you remain interested.

My thoughts are that the humans will eventually find earth, but it will be a post apocalyptic earth like planet of the apes.  Or, earth will already be taken over by cylons or something.

Also, there is a weird thing happening in season 2 where the human-looking Cylons are starting to have human emotions, while some humans are starting to act more like cylons.  That makes me think that down the road there will be cylons that are accepted as humans, and their offspring will be just like humans…who knows?

So far the only problem with I have with the show is that some characters are pretty cookie-cutter.  Like, you have the alcoholic that is struggling with work and addition.  Then you have the girl who was abused as a kid and is now all hardass.

But my favorite character is the asian Cylon Boomer, aka Sharon (pictured).  Finally a decent looking asian girl on TV.

Anyway, great series.  I’d suggest you download the first TV movies, because that will give you an idea of where the show is heading.

Monday was the season finale of Teminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles.  My take on the first season?  Good…really, really good.

Sure, the acting isn’t great.  There is a lot of forced drama, some corny dialogue, some irrelevant side plots.  And oh yeah, the show doesn’t fit at all with Terminator 3.

But even with all of this in mind, season one was great to watch.  The episodes fit together well, and the plot was that classic Terminator story of machine trying to fit in among humans, Connor trying to handle his future, and Sarah trying not to freak out.

I love it.

Also, in the season finale we learn a couple of pretty important things.  First of all, Terminators can get married to humans.  One of the Terminators sent to kill John got married and carried on a relationship with a human pretty well…before he broke her neck.

What does that mean?  Cameron, aka super hot Summer Glau is gonna hook up.  I called it before and now I swear it’s gonna happen.

Not only that but as a Stern caller pointed out, Cameron swallows a pancake.  That, along with the married Terminator means that Terminators have human organs and can probably bang.

And the best part is John is getting all close to Cameron.  He’s been defending her all season, but in the finale he’s lying on top of her screwing this chip into her head.  Then he starts caressing her face while he’s leaning all over her.

My guess?  Cameron and John are getting it on in season 2.  I love it.

Plus, they have Cameron walking around in these hot little outfits.  Like, imagine a Terminator in short jeans shorts, tight black top and fuck me boots…hoooooot.

Anyway, if you haven’t watched this season yet be sure to check it out.  It has full Japadamus approval.  Ok, sure Summer is hot and she makes me want to watch this fucking Serenity movie….but more than that, it’s a great series with decent writing and a solid Terminator script.

We all knew this would happen.  I’ve said it before.  If you need a refresher, ‘The Moment of Truth’ is a game show that gives cash prizes to contestants for answering questions honestly.

In the earlier rounds, the show is simply embarrassing.  People steal money, people do gay shit, people have weird sexual escapades.

But in the six figure rounds, the questions become life-ruining.

In this week’s Moment of Truth, the contestant got into the $100,000 round…and things started to get pretty bad.

The girl admitted that she was in love with a guy other than her husband on her wedding night.  Then, they brought in the woman’s ex boyfriend to ask questions.  The first question was whether she would get back with her ex if he wanted to.  And the contestant’s sister saved her from that question.

But the next question was whether she thought that she thought she should actually be with her ex…and her answer was yes.  Making her husband, who was present, pretty upset.  So, that question won her $100,000.

The first question in the $200,000 round?  Did she have sexual relations with someone other than her husband.  And the answer was yes.

Finally, the second question in the $200,000…”do you think you’re a good person?”  She answered yes, but the lie detector said no.

The result?  The girl loses ALL of the money…and possibly her marriage.

Sadly, this was some pretty good TV.  I mean, how can you possibly resist this stuff?

It’s a great show that’s feels like watching a train wreck in slow motion.  Check it out.

The Moment of Truth premiered last night on Fox.  I’ve been waiting to see this show for a while and I think it’s a pretty unique concept.

Here’s how it works:

Before the show, contestants are asked 50+ questions while attached to a lie detector.  21 of these questions are chosen for the game.  Each game has 5 rounds.  The first round has 6 questions, the 2nd round has 5 questions, all the way to the final round which has 1 question.

As long as the contestant tells the truth for each question he/she keeps on going to the next question.  All the contestant has to do is answer all of the 21 questions truthfully and they will win half a million dollars.

To answer a question truthfully, the contestant’s answer on the show must be the same as the results of the lie detector test.  You don’t even actually see the lie detector test, it happens entirely off the show.  Once the contestant lies, they are done.

After each round, the contestant can choose to take the money or keep on playing for the $500k.  I’m not sure how much each round is worth, but the first one was $10k.  Once a question is asked the contestant has to answer it - you can’t just stop in the middle of a round.

3 of the contestant’s family and/or friends are there as well.  They have one chance to skip a question, but there is no assurance that the subsequent question will be easier or less humiliating.

The contestant also has the opportunity to change their answer given while taking the lie detector test.  I’m not sure how this works though - they didn’t go into it in depth on the show, and no one picked this option.

The questions increase in difficulty in each round.  At first they start off as merely embarrassing, like have you looked at a guy’s junk in the locker room shower, or have you hit a car and not left a note.

As the rounds go on, the questions get more personal and hurtful.  This is where the contestant’s family/friends come in, because the answers really start to involve these people.  There seems to be a lot of ‘have you done gay stuff’ questions as well.

The first contestant started to get questions about his marriage, like did he ever think that his marriage would not last, etc.  Also, they asked him questions like did he ever touch a customer more than he needed to (he was a personal trainer), and this was the question where he lied.

One of the biggest problems I have with the show is that you don’t know the results of the lie detector beforehand, nor do you have any verification that the show is actually telling the truth.  So really, they show could just keep people from winning money by saying that they are lying with their answers.

The audience is kind of annoying in this game, because they ooh and aahhh at each question, even if the answer is really not very damaging.  Also, the show tries to build suspense during each question, so it gets kind of tedious.  Even during the most benign questions, there is a dramatic pause before the answer is given.  Boring.

I also am not entirely convinced of the reliability of lie detector tests in general.  These are not 100% correct, and I wonder if this will present problems for contestants.

Another thing is I don’t really get why contestants would lie.  If they lie, the truth still comes out on national TV.  Even if they refuse to answer the question, it’s obvious that the truth was the more harmful answer.

Still, the show is entertaining.  Given how the questions are proceeding, you can tell they get really personal in the later rounds.  Like, at some point the questions will get bad enough to break up marriages.  And I can’t wait to see it.

The first show barely scratched the surface though.  There were only two contestants, and the first one got booted off early in the 2nd round.  The second contestant ran out of time and his show will be continued next time.

Definitely check it out.  It’s a guilty pleasure, to be sure.  But it’s not the worst thing you could do with your time.

I wasn’t huge on this year’s ‘celebrity’ version of the Apprentice…but I have to say last nite the show was in rare form.

My theory was that this year, the show would be like a popularity contest, with the more famous celebrities being kept, while little known celebrities were fired.  And that was true for the first two episodes, but in last night’s episode Gene Simons fucked things up.

I have to say, Gene Simmons is amazing.  I don’t know much about the guy, but he has an incredibly powerful personality.  He can command the respect of a room instantly while still remaining quiet and calm.  Oh yeah, and this makes women want to fuck him too.

I think Simmons was probably the most famous and the most wealthy celebrity on the show.  And he knew it.  I think this made him even more cocky and confident than normal.  This attitude would probably work for Simmons in any other situation, but on the apprentice he butted heads with Trump.

And you could tell Trump really wanted to keep Simmons.  During the board room, Donald practically begged Simmons to bring in a scape goat.  But he didn’t, and he was booted.

The show will really take a hit without Simmons.  And that’s where the the celebrity aspect of this show really fails.  There isn’t a powerful personality like Simmons left on the show, and no one with real business savvy.  I mean, most of these people are entertainers…not educated business people.  Perhaps the show peaked this episode.

But I have to say, there is one person that will keep me watching all season…and she can’t be fired.  Ivanka.  My god is she hot.  A near perfect body, beautiful face, sexy voice.

And Ivanka really gains a lot with her x-factor.  She’s very smart and incredibly well spoken.  Even though Ivanka is only 26, she was able to go head to head with Simmons, continually putting him in his place.  Other than Trump himself, Ivanka was the only one who could really control Simmons, along with the rest of the cast.  And that is sexy as hell.

We’ll see how the next few episodes play out.  There are a few more interesting characters left…but man, Simmons’ departure was a big loss for the show.

It’s that time of year again, kids.  Season 7 of American Idol premiered last night, with the first trials taking place in Philly.

This is a critical year for Idol, since ratings last season were down and sales of season 6 winner Jordin Sparks’ CD were a bit disappointing.  Still the show is a cash cow…primarily for one reason, Americans are idiots.

I haven’t watched a full season of Idol since season 1, but with the writer’s strike there’s not much else on TV.  Also, Howard always talks about Idol, so sadly I’m kind of forced to watch.

I actually don’t mind these early episodes because hey, they are entertaining.  It’s incredible that the show can fill a stadium full of Idol wannabees.  It’s also incredible that so many people think they actually have talent.

I’ve always wondered how you actually get in front of Randy, Paula and Simon.  From what I’ve heard, you have to go through several rounds of pre-screening off TV first, then the more interesting or talented contestants get through.  It’s actually a great system to find quality singers and douches who will make a fool of themselves to get on TV.  Who needs writers anyway?

The show is still incredibly cheesy at times…like when the judges act concerned when a contestant cries.  It seems though, that they’re making an effort to improve their image…even Simon seemed slightly compassionate last night.

All in all, it’s a brilliant show that is finely tuned to evoke the gamut of emotions in a single 40 minute episode.  I just hope there’s another sanjaya in this year’s crop.

After episode two tonight, I’m officially on the Terminator The Sarah Connor Chronicles (TSCC) bandwagon.  The show is not without it’s faults, but I like the story, enjoy the characters, and love Summer Glau, who plays the hot girl Terminator, Cameron.

The show has several storylines that work well together and should carry the show through at least a couple of seasons with no problem.  You have John, Sarah and Cameron looking to stop SkyNet, along with the bad Terminators looking to stop them.  You also have John trying to grow up and settle in, and Sarah trying to do her thing…which usually means hooking up with a few guys as well as protecting John and generally being a disagreeable bitch.

There are also people looking for Sarah and John, because remember they robbed a bank in episode 1.  Although they were presumed dead at the scene, a cop and Sarah’s ex fiancee saw them on TV when they time ported in the middle of the street.  And of course, the first thing John does is see Sarah’s ex fiancee, which is bad news because now that guy knows John is alive for sure.

Finally, you have the mechanical Terminator trying to be human.  I’ll admit this theme has been played throughout the various Terminator movies, but Summer does it well…and god fuck is she hot.  I’m giving her at least an 8.

And she isn’t just a face…she plays the role well.  Summer does an excellent job with the Terminator’s monotone matter-of-fact statements and comical naiveté.  It’s soooo much better with Summer rather than Arnold.  It sounds superficial, but the fact that she is a smoking hot girl really does help the show by leaps and bounds.

Episode two is in the present (2007) and John, Sarah and Cameron are taking first steps, which means establishing themselves with identification.  You have a couple encounters with another Terminator, although since the three jumped ahead in time the present-day Terminators don’t really know who they are - I guess they think they’re dead.

However, the original Terminator from episode one did get timeported to 2007 as well, except all of his human-looking flesh was burned off and he was in pieces.  In episode 2, the Terminator basically gets his pieces back together - which is weird, since the Terminator lost his head, how did he see? - and walks around all covered up so his metal body is not exposed.  There is some foreshadowing that this Terminator, who is the only one that recognizes 1999 Sarah, John and Cameron, will be a problem for them very soon.

We also learn that unlike Arnold in Terminator 2, Cameron will not take orders from “this John,” meaning John Connor in 2007.  This means she kills people very quickly, with even the presence of suspicion.  I’m guessing that this is one of the things she will work on throughout the series.

Cameron also explains that one of the reasons they are in 2007 is that Sarah died from cancer in 2005.  Future John sent Cameron back to 1999 to pick up Sarah and little John and bring them 2007, because 1) that is when SkyNet was started and 2) because Sarah is a good fighter and will help their cause.

It’s a moderately complex storyline, but it works in this series so far.  It’s a bit hard to follow at times, but no where near as convoluted as Heroes usually is.

In any case, you really have to check this show out…and I suggest you get started early so you’re up to date.  Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Mondays on Fox.

I’ve been pretty excited about The Sarah Connor Chronicles (TSCC) - the tv series based on the Terminator trilogy.  Well, episode one premiers right now…

-Sarah Connor in this series is pretty hot…for an older woman at least.  But John Connor looks like a little kid.  At least he’s not a douche like that kid in Terminator 2.

-Ugh, dream sequence with John getting killed by the Terminator then a nuke going off.  Lame in comparison to the one in Terminator 2.

-So, Sarah’s just engaged.  That woman does get around quite a bit.  She got a tiny ring tho.  Maybe she should just start spitting out babies in case John gets killed.  Of course John was made from future Terminator killer sperm, so it probably wouldn’t be the same.

-The problem with the Terminators is they always try to kill John…they never do it on the DL.  Like, why not get Sarah hooked on crack during her pregnancy so John is a flipper baby rather than a leader of the human resistance.

-We learn it’s 1999, in Nebraska of all places.  Ouch…lots of overacting and canned dialogue.  Sarah and John are taking off from Nebraska and moving away from Sarah’s fiancee after living there for 6 months.

-More timeline stuff…we’re about 2 years after the end of Terminator 2.  Sarah is wanted by the cops for killing Dyson and blowing up the SkyNet research center.

-Wow…the acting is pretty bad.  Lots of yelling and cheesy dialogue.

-Sarah is short, ~5′4″, 110 pounds.

-We see the first shots of the terminator.  He has red eyes, like the old model terminator, not the liquid metal one.

-The movie 10,000 BC looks like a snoozer.  I mean, it looks pretty but seems overly ambitious without a very compelling plot.  And too many elephants.

-Ok, so Sarah and John move to New Mexico.  He’s bummed cuz he has to keep moving.  He meets a hot girl in class, who I believe is the good Terminator.  She is pretty decent looking…a solid 7 at least.

-That makes me think, in the future Terminators could just be sex slaves…like, Real Dolls that move and look and talk like humans.  What if that was the downfall of society, people make robot Real Dolls, Real Dolls gain consciousness, and the world is taken over by hot robots.

-John calls New Mexico a hick town, but he was just in Nebraska…wtf?

-John is kind of a bummer.  Like, he’s talking to his hot girl about how his dad died and how his mom is all nuts.  Waaaaaah.  Good lines there, buddy.  What a homo.

-So, their substitute teacher is a Terminator.  You can tell because he sticks a letter opener in his leg to get a hidden gun.  Does that make sense to anyone?  Like, why not just put it in your pocket…why hide it in your leg, then have to cut open your leg like an asshole?

-And now he’s shooting at John…in school.  The terminator’s line?  “Class dismissed” as students are huddled under desks.  Who’s writing this shit?  I heard that the writers are on strike because the dialogue in Terminator: Sarah Connor Chronicles makes their profession look bad.

-Any time now hot Terminator girl.  Bad Terminator is all over John about to shoot him in the school parking lot.

-Ah, there she is.  “Come with me if you want to live,” she says.  Hot.  I can’t wait until these two are f’ing.

-So, just a recap:  Hot Girl Terminator saved John by hitting the Bad Terminator with a truck, then driving off with John.

-Sarah shows up at the school after she learns that there were shootings.  Terminator catches her and is using fake Sarah voice to trick John on the phone.

-So, Bad Terminator takes Sarah back home to meet John after tricking John with fake Sarah voice.  But Hot Girl Terminator comes in, acting like John by using fake John voice, and starts fighting with the bad Terminator.  She’s putting on a decent fight.  Sweet, she shocks bad Terminator…then escapes with Sarah and John.

-She didn’t kill bad Terminator by shocking him…it just makes him have to reboot, which takes 160 seconds.

-John, Sarah and hot girl Terminator are in some barn regrouping.

-Hot Girl Terminator is topless taking out bullets from her chest…makes up for dialogue.

-We learn that although Dyson was killed in Terminator 2, another guy brings the SkyNet computer online.

-Sarah and the hot girl Terminator seem to be getting a little catty with each other.

-The cops get reports that the shooter had a robot leg.

-John brings up a good point…there should be no Terminators after Arnold was destroyed in Terminator 2.  And he’s bitching about not being able to lead an army and blah blah blah.  He’s turning out to be a bit of a pussy.

-Sarah decides to go and try and destroy SkyNet…again.

-I’m really liking this idea of making hot Terminators, rather than making them look like Arnold.  We learn that the hot girl Terminator is “different” than previous models.  I’m betting that this means they’re more like humans and can fall in love and f and stuff.  I’m hoping John and hot girl Terminator girl make little half human half Terminator babies.  hoooottt.

-Sarah and John and hot girl Terminator go back to Dyson’s house…you remember the black family from Terminator 2?  They’re pretty angry, because they think Sarah killed Dyson.

-The bad Terminator is at Dyson’s house now with a big gun.  Hot girl Terminator blows up Sarah’s truck to stop him.  Nice.

-The Applebee’s apple is voiced by Wanda Sykes.  Imagine that, an apple speaking ebonics.  Does that make you want to go to Applebees at all?

-Ooohhh, Sarah got shot.  You’d think they’d have bullet proof vests at this point…y’know, with the whole fate of the world riding on them?  It’s not new technology, terminator.

-Hot girl Terminator stitches up Sarah.  She only got hit in the shoulder, so she seems ok.

-Ok, so the hot girl Terminator takes John and Sarah to a bank.  She has a safe deposit box there that she opened in 1963.  She takes a gun from the security guard and gets to the boxes.  Weird, so the hot girl Terminator asks the banker to lock her and John and Sarah in the vault with the safe deposit boxes.  She opens one box that has a bunch of keys for other boxes.

-Of course the cops are coming now to the bank.  The cops recognize Sarah and John.

-We learn that John sent someone back to the past to build all this stuff that’s in the safe deposit boxes.  So, they’re assembling all this stuff in the bank vault.

-The bad Terminator arrives and is trying to break into the vault.  Hot girl Terminator is working on assembling some sort of weapon.  An isotope gun it appears?

-Hot girl Terminator opens up another box, and it’s some sort of computer.

-Ooooh, hot girl Terminator and Sarah are really going at it.

-Apparently, there is a time machine in the bank vault, and Sarah, John and the hot girl Terminator take it to 2007.  Sarah also gets off an isotope shot which stops the bad Terminator.

-Sweet, it brings them to 2007 in the middle of an f’ing highway.  They could have been killed right then.  Good move hot girl Terminator.  They’re all naked and some kid in a car is taking pics of naked hot girl terminator with his camera phone.

-Hot girl Terminator attracts a car of guys by standing in front of the car naked.  And she beats them up and takes her clothes.  Again…hot.

-FYI, the reason they’re in 2007 is that SkyNet was started in this year, apparently.

-Sarah, John and the hot girl Terminator make the news after appearing in the middle of the highway naked.  The cops from 1999, and Sarah’s ex-fiancee see them on the news.

-They move to some house in the middle of nowhere and Sarah narrates.

-Looks like tomorrow there are two more hours of Terminator.  Sweet.  And that is it.

-And The Family Guy starts.

Wow.  All in all, I have to say that this was a pretty good first episode.  It sets up the story well in 2007, and of course establishes hot girl Terminator…as well as Sarah and John that we already knew.

The dialogue was pretty cheesy at times, but man, the action scenes and hot girl Terminator make up for it.  The plot is also pretty good, and fills in the gaps well.

I mean, on one hand you’re kind of bummed out that all of Terminator 2 was kind of a waste…but I guess it’s believable that someone else at SkyNet develops the robot technology.

One thing I also like about the first episode was that it wasn’t mystery after mystery, like Heroes or Lost.  You know pretty much where the plot is going and what the people have to do and who is going to stand in their way.  Sure, that is pretty linear, but TSCC has the luxury of filling in lots of action scenes and hot girl Terminator scenes.

I do have to point out, however, that although I understand the rationale of using a hot girl Terminator in this series, the human resistance movement would never use a hot girl terminator in real life.  It is just too distracting for John.

After Terminator 2, John knows that he has complete control over the Terminators (at least the ones protecting him).  Remember that scene where he has Arnold stand on one foot?  With this hot girl Terminator, he would just get her to give bjs and hand jobs and toss salad all the time.  And she would have to, because he is her boss…and that is just waaaay too distracting.

In any case, overall, not a complete home run, but it was set up well.  I’ll definitely be watching tomorrow’s episodes to see how the plot picks up in 2007.

Your thoughts?

Howard Stern will be on the Late Show with David Letterman tonight.  Don’t miss it!

I watched the premier of the Celebrity Apprentice last night, and it was odd…much of the show was painfully annoying, but at the same time I couldn’t stop watching.

Here’s the gist of the show.  You have a bunch of celebrities - and the show uses this term loosely at times - and these contestants compete in normal Apprentice fashion in an elimination style show.  But, instead of competing for a job, the players compete for their favorite charity.

First of all, there are major flaws with this premise.  The main draw of the original Apprentice was that you have a bunch of highly motivated business-people competing for a job in Trump’s organization.  This made for great competition because the contestants had a huge, high paying job on the line.

With the Celebrity Apprentice you have rich stars, many of which don’t need the money or fame.  Not only that, they don’t even win money for themselves - they win money for charity.  I don’t know for sure how this will affect competition since it is only the first episode…but my guess is that you won’t see the same kind of intense battles that you had in the original series.

For the first show, the teams were split by gender.  This put the girls at a huge disadvantage in my opinion, because I don’t think there are any big female celebrities on the show.  You have:

-Carol Alt - some actress I’ve never heard of.

-Jennie Finch - an olympic softball player, who is hot, but even less known than a WNBA player.

-Marilu Henner - an actress and author I’ve never heard of.

-Nadia Comaneci - who was an olympic gold medal gymnast that I’ve actually heard of…20 years ago, that no one cares about.

-Nely Galan - an entrepreneur and telemundo executive that is as far from a celebrity as you can get.

-Tiffany Fallon - a former Miss Georgia and Playboy playmate who is decent looking, but a nobody.  And,

-Omarosa - a black cunt.

Who the fuck are these women?  Most are barely celebrities and I would not recognize any on the street.

On the other hand, the men’s team has big stars like Gene Simmons from Kiss, Lennox Lewis, Big Pussy from the Sopranos, Tito Ortiz, who is a famous ultimate fighting champion and Stephen Baldwin.  The only guy I didn’t know was Piers Morgan, who is a judge on America’s Got Talent.

Why was this disparity such a big deal?

Well, the challenge on the first show was selling hot dogs in NY.  Both teams eventually used their celebrities to bump up the price of dogs, putting the women at a huge disadvantage.

Not only that, but during the planning stage, Gene Simmons gets on the phone and tells his friends to come by and donate $5k to charity by buying a five grand hot dog.  This was an interesting twist that totally ruined the game in my opinion, because it made the game “who has richer friends” rather than a game that requires strategy.

At the end, the men sold $50k of hot dogs, and the women sold $16k.  Simmons’ friends just kept coming by and throwing around cash…it was insane.

The women’s project manager was Omarosa, who was on the original Apprentice.  She is your typical loud mouth, self righteous, ignorant bitch…and I absolutely can’t stand her.

But I can see how she brings in ratings - it’s like the Jerry Springer show when you just watch crazy people.  She is that person.

And although she was project manager and the women failed miserably due to Omarosa’s strategy, Trump didn’t fire her - he axed Tiffany Fallon instead.  If you think about it, Trump couldn’t fire Omarosa.  She is the most interesting person on the women’s team.  Without her everyone would just get along and it would be like a book club.

I can’t stand her, but it also made the show more interesting, I have to admit.

In any case, I think this is the last leg for The Apprentice.  It’s like a failing sitcom that just has a million cameos in the last season.  The show has lost its momentum and even Trump seems bored at times.

But check this show out while you can.  The celebrity angle ruins the show in many ways, but it’s awesome to see Gene Simmons in real like, along with Big Pussy and these other guys.

There are a bunch of new shows starting this month - and thank god because this writers strike has made TV pretty crappy recently.

I’m looking forward to Terminator:  The Sarah Connor Chronicles the most.  It picks up after the 2nd Terminator movie, which is cool and promises a lot of action with teenage John Connor and protective mother Sarah.  I loved the first 2 terminators, and it’s a great idea to pick up after Terminator 2.  I kind of wonder if this show will have the budget to match the movies…and I kind of doubt it…but if they come close it will be pretty sweet.

One thing tho - the hot girl in this movie also happens to be the Terminator.  I’m not crazy about that idea…I like rooting for the hot girl.

After several poor years, I’m also kind of looking forward to the new Celebrity Apprentice - although I may have to bail pretty quick if this concept turns out to be lame.  I like the idea of Gene Simmons, Lennox Lewis, big Pussy and Stephen Baldwin in the same house.  I also hate that black bitch Omarosa, who was in season 2 I think.  I absolutely can’t stand this girl…and I hope she gets shit on very badly this year.  That will make me very very happy.

The Moment of Truth is also promising, in a very Jerry Springer type of way.  I would like to claim that I’m too smart or cultured for this show, but I’m really not.  Basically, you have people being asked awkward questions while connected to a lie detector, like would you cheat on your wife if she wouldn’t find out.  I mean, ruining people’s lives is always TV gold.

Parking Wars is kind of a dark horse from A&E that’s struggling to fill in Dog’s spot.  The reality show goes through the lives of parking meter cops, who are universally hated and disrespected.  This seems pretty awesome, with lots of potential.  It also could get very very boring if it turns out that parking cops are just run of the mill douches that happen to have a shit job like everyone else.