Howard Stern has been catching a ton of flack this week for calling Precious star Gabourey Sidibe fat.  That’s right, the same media that slams women for wearing a dress with the wrong cut or an out-of-style color is defending Sidibe’s looks.

Even stars are praising Sidibe’s looks with a straight face.  Many Oscar attendees, including Oprah, called Sidibe “beautiful” or something similar.

Why won’t anyone call Sidibe fat?

I mean, if someone is a smoker, every asshole on the block will remind them that smoking is unhealthy, or do the “your smoke is bothering me” cough as they walk by.

But a four hundred pound girl walks up on stage and suddenly no one can be critical.  Look, Sidibe is dangerously obese.  She doesn’t have a bad habit that may kill her in 50 years – she has a weight problem that could kill her tomorrow or at least lead to serious problems like diabetes.

Why don’t the same assholes that complain about smokers turn around and complain that fatties like Sidibe are unhealthy and cost American taxpayers when they have medical issues or go on disability because of their enormous guts?  I mean, at least smokers are taxed – a cigarette pack that costs 25 cents to make costs $7 or more thanks to taxes that in turn pay for the education of children and healthcare.  Fatties like Sidibe don’t pay for the costs that they will surely incur on taxpayers down the road.

And yet she’s beautiful.

Look, if we’re going to justify cigarette taxes because of heath care costs, we gotta tax the obese also.  Otherwise, the public should have the balls to just come out and say what anti-smoking measures are:  a witch hunt against an unpopular bad habit.

Praising Sidibe isn’t only bad for Sidibe, it’s bad for fat people everywhere.  The idea that someone can be beautiful even when they’re unhealthily obese gives people the idea that obesity is OK.

But it’s not.

Just like Joe Camel shouldn’t be telling kids that smoking is cool, celebrities should not be on camera praising the appearance of the obese.

So was Stern wrong to call Sidibe enormous?  Not at all.  Incredibly, as superficial and vapid hollywood reporters are today, only Stern had the balls to call a spade a spade.  Sidibe is obese, she’s not healthy, and she sets a poor standard for her fans.

Yes, the 82nd Annual Oscar awards ceremony was held this Sunday, and there were quite a few surprises.

First of all, Avatar didn’t win any major awards, which I think was certainly a good move.  I watched a downloaded copy of Avatar recently, and without the 3D and big screen the movie just doesn’t hold up.  I think most of the appeal of Avatar is the technology – I mean, the story is awful – so while Avatar should win every technical award out there, it certainly should not win for anything that actually has to do with acting or a story.

Mo’Nique won best supporting actress, which I think was a huge mistake.  I don’t mean to sound racist here, but is it really that tough for a black woman to play an angry crack head?  I mean, she grew up in Baltimore and anyone who has seen The Wire can surmise that she grew up in an environment that was filled with Precious-like situations.

It’s kind of like giving The Situation an award for being an Italian douche.  He’s lived in that environment his whole life, so acting like a guido isn’t that much of a stretch.  I think either actress from Up in the Air should have won the best supporting award.

The Hurt Locker won for best picture and best director.  It was definitely a good movie that was entertaining to watch.  But at the same time, a movie about what is happening right now in Iraq doesn’t seem that unique or ground breaking.  If creativity is a key criterion for best picture, which it should be, I don’t think Hurt Locker should have won.

Sandra Bullock won for best actress, although it was kind of surprising that she was even nominated in the first place.  Disney-style, feel good family movies don’t really get that much attention in the Oscars, and The Blind Side definitely was in that bucket.

Bullock did a good job as a strong-willed Southern woman, but is that really a difficult role to play?  Sure, it’s easy for me to monday-morning-quarterback, but it seems like the highlight of her performance was a so-so Southern accent.

I still think Meryl Streep did a better job in Julie and Julia.  I mean, she played Julia Child so well that the image of Streep has kind of replaced the actual memories of Julia Child for me.

At the end of the day though, the Oscars aren’t much more than a popularity contest among Hollywood, and since I didn’t have any money on the event I don’t really care.

How could a bloody mary possibly get any better?  Try adding the flavor of bacon.

Yes, Bakon Vodka is infused with the flavor of everyone’s favorite greasy breakfast food.  Even better, Bakon Vodka is made from potatoes, so it’s practically a full breakfast in a drink.

Sure, having vodka that tastes like bacon does slightly limit your mixing potential – a bacon flavored White Russian isn’t exactly appealing.

But at the same time, think of all the possibilities…bacon marys, bacon martinis, long bacon ice tea?!

Sadly, Bakon Vodka is in limited distribution, so you’ll most likely have to order the spirit online.  Check this link out for more information.

Normally a patch of grass that costs $90 will have some medicinal qualities.  But the patch above is more sentimental, especially if you’re a fan of the Yankees.

When the old Yankees stadium was torn down, the grass from the stadium was rolled up, cut into 3 inch square pieces and freeze dried.  Now, for $90 you can buy said grass in its own engraved display case.

Since the grass was freeze dried, it will maintain the same appearance over the years.  In other words, you won’t end up with a bunch of dirt as the grass decays.  I suppose this is a cool gift for a big Yankees fan.  But on the other hand, it does leave you with a patch of grass in a display case, which isn’t a good look for most people.

And being forced to watch male figure skating for two days is a bit much.  Really, God Hates Fags protests Adam Lambert contests, but they let this atrocity take place?  I swear, a big hard cock seemed just a bit more tasty after the second day of male figure skating coverage.

This is why watching the Olympics on the Internet is so great.  You can choose what you want to watch, and watch it whenever and wherever you want to.  It’s also a great way to pass time at work.

At first, I was getting pretty annoyed after having to install Microsoft Silverlight on all my computers, but actually the technology is pretty good.  Silverlight measures how much bandwidth I have, and adjusts the picture accordingly.  It also buffers the video well, so it’s mostly studder free HD quality.

I also like how the NBC website shows compilations of crashes.  For many sports, crashes are the only interesting parts, and it’s like someone at NBC read my mind when these put these clips together.  I highly suggest aerials crashes and super G crashes.

It is kind of annoying that you have to watch a commercial before every video.  But you can really just mute your computer and surf the web for 30 seconds.  I also hate how they show the same commercial over and over.  I mean, it doesn’t make me want to buy a product any more if I see the same commercial every two minutes.  If anything, it makes me annoyed and less likely to buy.

The best coverage on the net so far IMO has been hockey.  They have game highlights, as well as clips of just shootouts.  And hockey is a great sport in the Olympics now since there are actual NHL players playing.  That way it’s still pretty interesting to watch the Swedish team or the Czech team, for the example, because you’re really watching some pretty great players.

There are also full hockey games on the NBC site.  This is probably the only place you’ll see most of these games, because NBC doesn’t broadcast them in primetime.  How does that make sense?  Hockey is a big professional sport in America and instead they show dudes with half buttoned shirts and tight pants.

You will have to wait to see video on the NBC website, however.  You need a paid subscription to watch a lot of the most recent or live coverage, which is kind of a pain.  But since Google News will blast any big news to you before you watch the actual event on delay you really aren’t missing much by waiting a day.

You can check out the NBC video site here.  The site isn’t well designed and it’s kind of a pain to find stuff, but the ‘Most Popular Video’ page is pretty good, as is the daily recap page.

That’s why I have zero sympathy for Kevin Smith, the writer and director of Clerks, who recently generated a ton of press for getting kicked off a Southwest flight for being too fat.  Apparently, Smith had purchased two tickets, according to Southwest’s rules, but then decided to take an earlier flight where only one seat was available.  Once it was discovered that Smith couldn’t fit into his seat, a fact that Smith apparently already knew since he originally purchased two seats, Smith was booted from the plane.  After the incident, Smith took to Twitter, claiming that Southwest kicked him off because of his size.

I don’t get why Smith is angry here.  He knew that he was too fat to fit into a single seat, that’s why he originally bought two tickets.  It was also his choice to take an earlier flight where only one seat was available.  Really what Smith was doing was inconveniencing another traveler because he wanted to take an early flight.  That’s a dick, selfish and inconsiderate move on Smith’s part.

I mean, have you ever sat next to a fat guy, particularly on Southwest’s tiny seats?  It’s an awful experience, and completely unfair for the person who paid full price for a ticket yet ends up with a fat arm in their side for several hours.

Southwest wasn’t discriminating against Smith, as he claims, because he is ‘too wide for the sky’…they’re trying to create a comfortable environment for their normal-sized passengers and making Smith pay for the real estate that he’s consuming.

Really, Smith is acting like a petulant child who got caught doing something that he already knew was wrong.  Smith’s tweets are selfish and juvenile, and I hope Southwest doesn’t change their policy because of this incident.  In fact, I’d prefer to fly an airline who gets rid of fatties, rather than one that coddles them.

Was it just me or did the Olympics just creep up all of a sudden?  I had no idea that the Opening Ceremonies for the games were today, until  an athlete died in a luge crash.

Apparently, the Olympic committee decided to introduce a crazy death sport into this year’s olympics that involves sledding down a half tube made of ice at 80 miles per hour without any protection.  While I’m all for entertainment, I have no idea how this sport ever seemed like a good idea.

Then, during the ceremonies themselves there was a big technical glitch with Vancouver’s bizarre, four armed torch lighting machine.  The glitch created a few minutes of awkward waiting.  As you can see from Gretzky’s face above, it was not comfortable at all.

It didn’t really help that NBC’s announcers were analyzing the technical glitch as it happened.  You’d think they’d try to play cool, but no, they not only mentioned the technical glitch but gave a play-by-play account of the whole spectacle.

Personally, I’m looking forward to hockey…and that’s about it.  Skiing and snowboarding are cool to watch, but in the end I really don’t care at all who wins.  I mean, it’s not like skiing or snowboarding are actually sports.  Figure skating is tedious, especially when one of the skaters isn’t suspected of ordering a hit on another skater.  Really, the whole Tanya Harding thing ruined figure skating for me forever, because no Olympics after that could ever match that drama.

Filling Cowell’s shoes means being brutally honest, if not downright rude and crass.  That seems like something Stern could do, right?

I’m not certain, but it appears that rumors of Stern’s possible move to Idol came from Stern himself.  Stern has mentioned that he is one of the few people that could replace Cowell, although many of these comments were made in passing.

Once Stern started the ball rolling however, the media picked up on the story.  In response, Stern has commented that he would replace Cowell for $100 million.

At the end of the day though, I think this is really just a ploy by Stern in a contract year.  Negotiations to renew his contract with Sirius XM are just around the corner, and he’s likely just trying to create demand.  It’s a brilliant move.

Also, Fox may not even want Stern at all.  He doesn’t really seem like a fit for Idol’s target market, which I’m guessing includes teenage girls and families.

And even if Idol did want Stern, it wouldn’t make sense to pay him $100 million.  At most they’d match Cowell’s $50 million salary, which may be a bit too low for Stern.

Finally, Stern hates to travel, and he is firmly rooted in New York with his wife.  Filming for Idol in LA, not to mention the satellite trials would be very inconvenient for Stern, who rarely leaves the State.  You’d also have to wonder what would come of his radio show if he took a few weeks off to judge Idol.

I’m hoping Stern does replace Cowell, because that would truly make the show entertaining.  But, I think it’s highly unlikely….somewhere in the 10% likelihood range.

Still, Fox does need to make a strong move if it wants its Idol franchise to survive, and hiring Stern would definitely get them a ton of attention.  I’m not sure if audiences would stick around though – Idol is already losing its legs and even if Stern does join the show it’s hard to imagine that the show keeps up its ratings without Cowell.

According to the Advertiser, the bill gives the Department of Hawaiian Home Lands to allow gaming casinos on Hawaiian Homes land parcels.  Another bill that passed would create a gaming commission that would issue a five year gaming license to a single casino.

The poor economy was a key driver for these bills.  The State would get 20% of proceeds from the casino, while the Department of Hawaiian Home Lands would get the other 80%.

The downside to a casino, of course, is crime.  I think that’s a legitimate concern, but really, if you’re not able to control your gambling addiction you’re probably gonna get hooked on something else…I mean, have you tried crystal meth?  It’s wonderful.

The Bay Area is dotted with card clubs where you can play poker, black jack, pai gow, etc., and we’re not living in fear of gambling-related crime.  It seems a bit overbearing to prohibit gambling on a small scale just because there is a small portion of the population that is not able to control their behavior.

Plus, you kind of have to feel bad for the Hawaiians.  I mean, they got nothing except Kam…and that’s definitely what you would call the short end of the stick.  In the meantime, Indians on the mainland are raking in cash from their casinos.  That doesn’t seem very fair to me.

The next step for the casino bills is the Finance Committee.  Again, I don’t really know what that means, but I really do hope this bill passes.  At the very least, it will save Hawaii residents an expensive plane fare to Vegas and the cost of digs at the Cal.

Avatar:  Look, I agree that this movie was visually stunning.  The 3D and CGI really placed you in this alien planet.  But the story was long, generic and predictable.  The characters might as well have been wearing ‘good guy’ ‘bad guy’ shirts on.  And you could tell how the movie was going to end 15 minutes into the film.  So, can Avatar still be best picture?  I dunno.  The film really looked great, but it’s like of like a super hot Miss USA contestant winning the title, even though she has been hooking on the side  – giving her award just kind of makes a mockery of the competition.

Precious:  This movie made me think I could be a screen writer.  Just take a minority, place them in an awful situation that involves minority problems like lack of education, drugs and throw in a little incest for good measure.  Sure, Monique played a crack head well…but then again, a crack head isn’t a very complex character, is it?  Who knows, she may have just been on crack during filming.  And the girl who played Precious was really just playing a fat black girl…again, not too much of a stretch.

District 9:  I like how District 9 took a new approach to the alien genre.  I also liked the gritty, documentary feel of the movie.  The alien costumes were at times a bit low res, but overall this was a pretty good movie.

Inglorious Basterds:  A decent movie, but not best picture material.  Also, I’m skeptical that a movie that shows jews killing Nazi’s and Hitler is in the running for best picture.  Talk about a home field advantage.

The Blind Side:  Not surprisingly this movie was a pretty sappy sports movie, and I’m surprised it got nominated for best picture.  I enjoyed watching it, but really the storyline was really just a recycled generous-white-person-helps-minority tale.  Still, this was one of the few movies nominated for best picture that really leaves you with a good feeling at the end.go

Up in the Air:  This movie was kind of over hyped way before it was in wide release.  When I finally saw it, it was somewhat of a let down.  Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t hard to sit through at all.  But the idea of a guy who travels a lot…not very unique to me.  Neither is the idea of a guy with no wife?  And they say Clooney is a good actor in this movie, but really he’s kind of too good looking for this part.  In reality, if Clooney was in this role he’d be banging girls left and right, and he’d have to settle down with the ones he got preggers.

Up:  This movie actually wasn’t bad.  It was a lot more serious than other Pixar movies, and surprisingly this worked out well with CGI.  The whole balloon thing was not very realistic…but whatever, it’s a cartoon so you kind of have to forgive that.

It seems pretty clear that Avatar is gonna take away a ton of awards, including best picture.  That’s too bad, because I’d rank it behind Basterds, Up in the Air, District 9 and Up.

I also think Bruno should have been nominated for something.  Really, when you look at these actors half of them are playing characters pretty close to their actual persona.  Clooney is a guy who travels a lot and bangs random chicks he meets at hotels?  Not a big stretch.  Monique is playing a fat black lady…is that really deserving of an Oscar?

But Bruno played a gay guy, even though Cohen is straight in real life.  Plus, he did this all in one-take scenarios where his acting was critical to keeping the bits alive.

Well, the Oscars are in a month.  Check it out.

After months, if not years of hype, Apple finally announced their tablet.  And it has an awful, awful name:  iPad.  Look, I’m a marketing major and the first thing we learned is never give your product a name that sounds like a feminine hygiene product, unless it is actually a feminine hygiene product.  It’s just asking for bad news.  In fact, iTampon is already the #2 tending topic on Twitter, ahead of Apple, Steve Jobs and iPad.

Despite the horrible name, there’s a lot to like about the iPad.

1.  Price:  I think the $499 base price was far below what anyone predicted.  Sure, no one will actually buy that version – you really want the $830 version with 3G and 64 GB of memory, but the $499 base price was astounding.

2.  Looks:  Sure, it looks like a big iPhone, but the iPhone looks good.  The iPad has a 9.7” screen, but is still only 0.5” thin – that’s not bad at all.  Early impressions of the build quality of the device were mostly positive, and I’d have to agree that the iPad is a very slick-looking device.

3.  Support for iPhone/iPod Touch Apps:  The iPad can run all current iPhone apps.  Since these apps are currently designed for a smaller screen, the iPad stretches them out to fit the larger 9.7” screen.  That’s not perfect, but it does give the iPad a pretty large application base to start off with.

With that said, there are quite a few problems I have with the iPad.

1.  No multitasking:  I don’t understand Apple’s aversion to multitasking on its portable devices, but this is a big negative.  The inability for the iPad to run two apps at the same time really limits the device’s usefulness.  As Steve Jobs pointed out, netbooks are really just cheap computers – sure, that’s true, but even cheap computers can run two apps at the same time.

2.  No Flash:  This is another feature that Apple has continually failed to support.  A ton of websites, not to mention Hulu, use Flash – so why doesn’t the iPad support it?

3.  GPS:  Jobs demoed the lovely Google Maps functionality on the iPad, but the lack of GPS really diminishes the value of Google Maps, not to mention half of the apps I currently rely on heavily.

4.  Codec support:  I like laptops because I can download a bunch of movies without worrying about the format, and then just play them with VLC player.  The iPhone can’t do this, and apparently neither will the iPad.  This means a lot of file converting – a tedious process.

Overall, the iPad was pretty disappointing.  Unlike the iPhone, the iPad doesn’t really break new ground.  More importantly, it’s hard to see how the iPad would fit into my life.  Sure, it seems great on planes and when I’m taking a deuce, but $500 is a lot to pay for a device that covers those two scenarios.

I recently bought a netbook for around $500, and frankly this device does everything that the iPad can do, and more.  Plus, it has more storage, Windows 7, and I don’t have to worry about converting files.

My guess is that the iPad will be a popular item, but I don’t think I’ll get one when it comes out.  While the device is less expensive than expected, it’s just too expensive for what it delivers.

The post-Christmas Woot! Offs are the best.  You get deals on all the xmas goodness that didn’t sell.  Check it out nooooow.

]]> http://japadamus.com/2010/01/25/absolutely-insane/feed/ http://japadamus.com/2010/01/23/amazing-time-lapse-video-shows-the-recovery-of-us-air-flight-1549/ http://japadamus.com/2010/01/23/amazing-time-lapse-video-shows-the-recovery-of-us-air-flight-1549/#comments Sat, 23 Jan 2010 06:26:54 +0000 japadamus http://japadamus.com/2010/01/23/amazing-time-lapse-video-shows-the-recovery-of-us-air-flight-1549/

Remember US Airways flight 1549, the flight that hit a flock of geese and crashed into the Hudson?  The recovered body of the flight is now up for auction here.  You don’t get the wings, engines or tail, but you do get a slightly damaged fuselage.

This amazing time lapse video of the recovery of flight 1549 also popped up on the web today.  It shows the amazing effort it took to raise the plane from freezing water, while large chunks of ice floated down the Hudson.  The process appears to take several days, and was successful thanks to a large barge-mounted crane and an ice-clearing tugboat.

Exclusive unseen video footage of the Miracle on the Hudson, flight 1549 New York City from David Martin on Vimeo.